He who has ears, let him hear!

Leaving with a bang

2008-07-02T17:23:00.005+08:00

Well, whaddaya know...

Blogger is back to normal!

But a little, too little, too late.

I've started experimenting with Wordpress. I've decided to shift my blog to Wordpress.

This blog is closed down. See new version at: http://hastenministries.wordpress.com/

I'm glad it happened. So much better than this one!

So, was it a blessing in disguise?
Didn't something good come out from the bad?
Was it the devil's fault?
Should we blame Satan for everything that goes wrong?

I'll leave you with this.

Yes, it's rock and roll.
Yes, it's "Christian rock and roll".
Yes, the guys have long hair.
Yes, the guys don't look like guys on their CD cover.
Yes, this song's content raises many red flags.

A highly controversial band, with a highly contentious song...

Yet that is what people remember them for!

So, don't forget my new blog address:

http://hastenministries.wordpress.com/

Some will say it's the devil's fault...

2008-07-01T21:33:00.000+08:00

There is a problem with Blogger.

The entire text editing toolbar is gone.

Can't bold the fonts.
Can't italicize the fonts.
Can't change font type.
Can't change font size.
Can't change font colour.
Can't put hyperlink.
Can't insert pictures.

Even in the "edit post" page, the fonts come out in HTML format.

Anyone knows how to overcome this problem, please let me know.

If the sticker says it's true, it's true!

2008-06-29T21:44:00.011+08:00

4th training run:

35 minutes around Kepong Metropolitan Park. Early morning run, with a few short uphill stretches. Slight pain on both hamstrings for a day.

2 things I've learned:

1. Running early in the morning feels different from running later during the day. It's harder to stick to the plan when your body hasn't really "woken up" yet. Must get used to early morning runs before the race.

2. One round around Kepong Metropolitan Park takes 23 minutes.

Time left before Siemens Run:

6 days and 8 hours. Time to do equipment check.

The shoe is a sad case... Its soles have been sewn back before. And now, look...

Thought of buying a new pair. But I'd rather buy it after the race at the race venue. They usually have a specialized stall to sell running shoes at special prices on that day.

Went to Midvalley Megamall to check out shoe prices. Any decent pair of running shoes cost more than RM200. Really "good" ones go over the RM300 bracket. Some come close to half a grand. It's madness!

I'm very hesitant to buy commercial brands. You won't really know whether you're buying into its technology, or its marketing.

Nike has a wide range of shoes for every kind of sport imaginable. But its boon can also be the bane. Their shoe line is so diverse, you start to doubt whether or not they are for real.

They put a sticker on it, they say it's running shoes. They put another sticker on it, they say it's for some other purpose. They put a new name on the running shoes, the price goes up a few hundred bucks. Is there a real way of knowing for sure that what you see (and pay for) is what you get?

Same goes for Reebok. Once I bought a Reebok DMX. Supposed to come with some canggih feature that I can't recall anymore today. It's supposed to "feel different" than regular running shoes. It turned out to be true. It felt different!

It blisters my feet.

That's the thing about running shoes, you see. You can't tell whether or not the shoe is really for you until you've tried it on for a few long runs. They can say whatever they like. In the end of the day, they can just put a sticker on the shoe. Or put the shoe in a nicely crafted box. And pass it off as a "new, hebat, high-tech running shoe." When by right, it's actually a generic one that originally couldn't be sold off the racks.

You will "feel different" for a while. But it's all just psychology. Yoooou can't deny that your feet don't lie, and you're starting to feel it pain... Eh, I think some singer said something like this before.

Asics is "the only brand recommended by the Australian Institute of Sports". They put a tag on it. And the price flies over 350 bucks.

Puma doesn't have serious running shoes. They look like they are more in it for the fashion.

Umbro is big on football shoes. Not for running.

The only brand that seems to have reasonably acceptable running shoes is Adidas. Some pairs go for under 200 bucks. Light weight, good cushioning, soles look good, design looks not bad.

They have this new line of shoes called Adizero. It's their lightest shoe. Pretty impressive for its light-weightness. But can't say much about its cushioning for long runs. It makes your wallet light too.

I was hoping to find Brooks running shoes. But it seems like they've dropped out from the commercial market. Can't find them anywhere in Midvalley.

I trust Brooks more than any other commercial brand because Brooks produces running shoes, and running shoes only. My guess is that their specialization makes them less commercialized, and less likely to produce generic shoes, only to morph them into running shoes by putting a sticker on it.

But alas... Their specialization must've kept them off commercial shelves. Anyone who knows where to find Brooks, please let me know.

You see, buying a good pair of running shoes is a very personalized thing. What's important is buying the "right" kind of shoe.

What kind of arch does your foot have? Are you a flat foot, a normal arch, or a high arch?

Are you an overpronator, or a oversupinator? If you have an overpronation problem, your foot tends to roll inward when your foot is on the ground. Your inner part of your shoe wears off faster. If you have an oversupination problem, it's the opposite. Your outer part of the shoes wears off faster.

All this boils down to orthotics. Some shoes have special insoles, specifically desgined to manage the problem of lateral foot motion. It may not be a problem for a 1k run. Or 2k run. But over 10k or a half-marathon, you will definitely feel the problem. I am an oversupinator.

You walk into any Nike shop. Or Adidas shop. Or Royal Sporting House. Ask the shop assistant aka salesman. See if they have any clue on what you're talking about. My bet is, they have no clue. They will tell you which one is on promotion, and which one can discount.

My current Nikes are bought at Ipoh at RM150. That was many years ago. There was this shoe shop at Ipoh's Jusco called Kinta City. All Nike shoes go for RM150. Went there on Kit Soon's recommendation.

"What? You went to Ipoh... to buy shoes??"

"Umm... Yeah."

I need a short-term solution: The cobbler at Taman Selayang...

For only RM1, they are as good as new! Worthy for another 10k run.

Other gizmos I have...

A contraption to keep my specs on my face:

Lasik surgery: A few grand.
One-day contact lenses: 20 bucks per pair.
Geeky contraption: A little more than a green dollar bill.

A device to keep your car keys, photostat IC and some money with you:

Originally an mp3 carrying case for my Creative mp3 player. Strap it around your right arm, and you're good to go.

Nike has an arm strap specially desgined for that purpose.
Nike strap-on case: RM40.
Cetak rompak mp3 carrying case: A little more than a red dollar bill.

Definitely a lot cheaper than preparing equipment-wise for cycling.

No turning back

2008-06-28T14:42:00.005+08:00

Finally made the deposit for NGV installation. After one big round of research, phone calls and personal visits to NGV workshops, here is how I came to my decision. My research may prove to be useful for you.

The first workshop I went to was Sugoi NGV Technology. RM3500, 60L, semi-fibre tank.

Why 60L? A 60L tank fits right at the back of my Proton Iswara 1.3's boot space. Any bigger than that, I have to sacrifice my spare tyre space. The next time I get a flat tyre, I can just cry on the road.

Why semi-fibre? There are 3 kinds of tanks. Metal, fibre, and semi-fibre.

Metal tanks are heavy. a 60L tank will be heavier than 60kg.

Fibre tanks are light. But the price of a fibre tank will make you go on a high-fibre diet for the next 3 years.

Semi-fibre tanks allow you to eat proper meals while feeding your car. It's lighter than a metal tank. A 60L tank will be around 50kg. In the long-run that kind of weight will make a difference.

So, the two unchangeable factors are the 60L volume, and the semi-fibre material. Based on those two constants, and RM3.5k as a benchmark, the research starts.

1. Gemari Auto Services, Batu Caves. "Nombor yang anda dail..." Out.

2. Juara NGV, Batu Caves. Same thing. "Nombor yang anda dail..." Out.

3. Suria Profesional Service, Batu Caves. RM4k, 70L, metal tank. Price more expensive, the size won't fit, and it's metal. Out.

4. Nice Network, Batu Caves. RM2998, 55L, metal tank. Price cheaper. But it's not a snug fit compared to a 60L. And it's metal. Out.

5. BMC-IB. RM3.2k, 55L, semi-fibre tank. Price cheaper. But not a snug fit. I won't mind paying a little bit more for a snug fit, and for making less trips to the NGV kiosk. Also, I don't like the name of the shop. It sounds more like a serial number. And the workshop is just a small one. Put on KIV.

6. Gas Emas, Batu Caves. RM3.3k, 60L, metal tank. Price is cheaper. Fit is ok. But it's metal.

The main thing is, I wasn't impressed with the workshop. It's only a small workshop, with enough space to service not more than 4 cars at a time. I can hear a gas leak coming from one of the cars. NGV installation is quite a high-tech procedure. Really unwise to entrust it into a small-time workshop that gives a bad impression of its skills. So, out.

7. Hijau MOG, Jalan Ipoh. RM3.5k, 60L, semi-fibre tank. Exactly what Sugoi is offering me. But...

There were no cars in the workshop. Why? Because they've run out of stock. No more tanks, no more casings, nothing! The workers got nothing to do. It says something about their business management.

Their new shipment of NGV tanks will come in 2-3 weeks time. But even when it comes, they have to service the cars that already made their booking before the petrol price hike! The queue will be really long.

It's not that they don't have customers. They do. But not having a single tank in your workshop? That's a bad case of mismanagement. Major.

Oh, by the way, remember the shop that gives "special price" to malays? Yah, this is the one. Apparently, the RM3.3 tank is the metal one. RM3.5k is the semi-fibre one. He wasn't really being "racist". He was just trying to sell me a better product. My bad. Sorry!

But still, I don't feel comfortable going there. If the offer is exactly the same, point for point, I'd rather go to Sugoi. Where the workshop is as big as a warehouse, and it looks more reliable. You don't want to fix an NGV unit for a slightly cheaper price, only to have it backfire and cost you a bomb to repair it. Reliability ranks high in my order of preference.

So, can put on KIV. But can say, quite "out" la...

So, in the end of the day, after pusing here, pusing there...

The winner is still the first shop I went to. Sugoi NGV Technology!

Paid RM500 for deposit. Installation date: 2nd August. Coinciding with my car's 1st birthday.

Excited. Counting the days. And hoping I am not a victim of marketing gimmicks again...

If your wife don't let...

2008-06-26T14:49:00.004+08:00

3rd training run:

30 minutes. Battled the scorching sun, a long uphill run, and the same carbon-monoxide-spewing bus 3 times.

2 things I learned:

1. There is a big difference between running on grass and running on asphalt.
2. There is a big difference between running late in the evening and running at 4:30 pm.

As usual, inspirational tale for the day...

Rocky I:

Rocky Balboa loses the fight to Apollo Creed.
The fight was so close, Apollo only won by a split decision.
Apollo won the fight. Rocky won the hearts of many.

Rocky II:

Apollo Creed fixes a re-match.
Rocky's wife ends up in the hospital.
He has to cope with a re-match, a wife in hospital and a new-born baby.
Rocky won't train.
Rocky's coach can't get him to train.

Rocky's wife says one word.
Rocky Balboa gets back into training.
Rocky Balboa trains even harder than before.

3 things you can observe:

1. Rocky has a bigger fan base after a defeat, not a victory.
2. He still gets his apple at the market.
3. He still syok sendiri at the top of the stairs. But not so "sendiri" this time.

3 things we can learn:

1. Winning a fight is not everything.
2. Losing one is not everything either.
3. You need your wife's permission to win :P

Training updates

2008-06-25T16:08:00.004+08:00

1st training run:

15 minutes, chest tightening, didn't want to collapse and die. Pain in legs for the next 2 days.

Two things I learned:

1. I am far from who I used to be.
2. Triple-storey, semi-detached houses in Kampung Bendahara cost RM280k only.

2nd training run:

25-minutes. Chest not tightening, no pain in legs.

Two things I learned:

1. One lap around the Amcorp Mall park takes 6 minutes.
2. There's hope!

Here's the inspirational training video for the day....

Rocky Balboa gets picked as a wild card to fight.

He fights Apollo Creed, the reigning champ.

Everyone thinks a no-namer like him will be lucky if he doesn't get killed.

He is just a replacement punching bag to make Apollo look good.

Rocky Balboa does not think so.

Rocky Balboa is far from fit.

Rocky Balboa starts training.

See if you spotted the following:

1. He gets an apple while running through the market.
2. He syok sendiri at the top of the stairs.

Two things you can learn:

1. You don't get apples when you run through a market.
2. Don't do a little jig with your hands on your hips at the end of an awe-inspiring run.

Resurrection

2008-06-20T16:33:00.009+08:00

I'll be going for the Siemens 10km run.

The last time I exerted my body: World Championships, Geelong/Lorne, Australia. February 2006.

That was 2 years, 4 months ago. Zero exercise since then.

Time left to the Siemens run: 15 days.

Will it be possible to revive my old form within 15 days, after retiring for 850 days?

This will be quite an experiment...

My friend, a "sales & marketing executive of a top chemical plant in Malaysia", has this super canggih Nike transponder. You can put this gadget in your shoe. Link it to your iPod. At a click, it can tell you how far you have run, your best mile, etc. When you go home, you can download your run into your laptop. You can see what you did during your run - the distance, the timing, etc. You can even see your running trail on the Google map!

Then you can compare your stats against everyone else in the world who downloads their runs into the internet.

Jealous...

All I have is my old Casio digital watch. Strap modified, because already broken and no more stock...

And this video to inspire me...

Russian champ challenges retired American champ.
American champ comes out from retirement to fight Russian champ.
Russian champ trains in a high-tech lab.
American champ trains, old school.

Guess who wins!

If you're into minimizing petrol consumption...

2008-06-17T18:38:00.010+08:00

Here's what you can do at the petrol station:

1. Pump petrol when the temperature outside is cool, e.g. at night or early in the morning.

When the temperature is hot, petrol will expand. When the temperature is cool, petrol will contract. If you pump petrol when it is cool, you will get more petrol per liter.

2. Do not squeeze the trigger of the petrol nozzle all the way in.

If you pump petrol in the fastest speed, some of the petrol will turn into vapour. The faster the speed, the more likely the petrol will vapourize. So, be smart. Pump slow. Don't pay for vapour.

3. Do not wait until your petrol tank is nearly empty before filling up.

Always fill up when your tank is half-full. The more empty air space in your tank, the faster the petrol can evaporate. If your tank is nearly empty, the remaining petrol will evaporate at a much faster rate. Therefore, you are "wasting" the last few liters of petrol that you have.

(I'm not quite sure about this tip. I think the weight of the tank compensates for the rate of evaporation.

If you always fill up your tank when it's nearly empty, you don't have to lug around half a tank of petrol all the time. Less weight = less petrol consumption.

If you always fill up your tank when it is half full, you will have less problems with petrol evaporation. But you'll have to lug around more weight in your tank. So, I guess this could cancel each other off.)

4. Do not pump petrol when the fuel truck is pumping into the storage tanks.

Petrol in the storage tanks may be stirred up. You may get some of the dirt that usually settles at the bottom of the storage tanks.

Here's what you can do with your car tyres:

5. Keep your tyres well inflated all the time.

If your tyres are not inflated properly, your car will have more friction with the ground. More friction = more force required = higher petrol consumption.

6. Pump nitrogen gas into your tyres.

Go to a car tyre shop and ask them to fill your tyres with nitrogen gas. It will cost a few bucks per tyre. It will improve your car's mileage, resist heat build-up and maintain the pressure of your tyres longer. You won't have to worry about keeping your tyres inflated for 6 months easily. This works best if your vehicle is a heavy one.

And of course...

7. Install NGV.

Even if you don't get the RM625 rebate, that "loss" will be covered within 2 months every year through savings.

Special price for Malays!

2008-06-17T18:01:00.005+08:00

I called up an NGV workshop to ask for the installation price. I spoke in malay.

The guy who picked up is chinese. He must have sensed a chinese accent in my bahasa melayu. He started talking in cantonese.

"Sam cheen sam," he said. And he rattled on about other stuff in cantonese.

"Sorry ah, saya tak tau cakap cina," I said.

"Kamu melayu kah" he asked.

"Yah..." I said instinctively.

"Oh... Saya ingat kamu cina. Tiga ribu lima..."

???

He charges RM3300 for chinese customers. RM3500 for malays.

Hijau MOG Sdn Bhd. Along Jalan Ipoh, near Tesco Extra Selayang, heading towards Selayang. Don't go there.

* * * * * * * * * *

This happened to Mei Yee's colleagues:

An indian girl and a chinese girl went around together in a car to look for a car battery. The indian girl asked for the price. RM180.

At another shop, the indian girl asked for the price again. RM180.

The chinese girl got down. She spoke to the mechanic in chinese. The price: RM120.

* * * * * * * * * *

Which is worse... To risk getting sued for bringing bad publicity to a shop, or to let racist business people have their way?

I think it's the latter.

Hijau MOG Sdn. Bhd. has lost RM3k from me. And from Mr. Siva too. And Mr. Guna. And Mr. Raman.

He will never be visited by En. Noorhisham. And En. Azmy. And En Jasmin. And everyone else who reads my blog.

Let the buyer beware. And the seller, even more...

Bike shop hunting

2008-06-11T14:02:00.004+08:00

I went bike shop hunting with Yuen Thern yesterday. It was great going with him. It will look really silly to mosey into a bike shop, with zero knowledge, and with nobody with you. It's like putting a "con me" sign on your forehead.

I drove, he navigated with the map.

First stop, KSH bicycle shop.

I think I found the bike that I want there. Merida 903. All in, RM3k.

The guy there is really friendly and helpful. He understands my needs as a beginner @ recreational cyclist @ triathlete wannabe. He gives very good advice to match my budget and purpose to the bike. His openness and willingness to relate makes me feel very comfortable with him and the store's product options.

I'd recommend KSH to first-time bike purchasers. Wong Chen Yeap. Boss, please give him a raise. Every other shop I went to after KSH pales in comparison.

Second stop, Bike Pro. Next time, I no go.

I poked around the shop. No price tag on the bikes. Nobody came to our assistance.

I asked the tauke if they have road bikes in the range of RM2k - 3k. He says, "Yes, yes we do... Just hold on a while, I have some things to do here... One of the boys will talk to you soon."

He was just writing some stuff in a log book. No boys came. Nobody gave us any attention. We were so totally ignored.

I heard people say before, that Bike Pro does not give much attention to low-end customers. If you are a high-end biker, then Bike Pro may be the shop for you. They concentrate on the big fish. Ikan bilis consumers like me don't matter. I guess they were right.

We walked out of the store. And I'm sure I'm never going back.

Third shop, Joo Ngan Son.

Heard that the shopkeeper is literally the son of Joo Ngan, some legendary Malaysian biker of old. Heard some good comments about that shop before.

The shopkeeper himself is a friendly guy. There were a couple of RM30k bikes in the shop. When I told him what I was looking for, he told me that KHS bikes around my price range will arrive within this week. He tried to persuade me to hang on a little longer until the bikes come in. He doesn't discriminate against ikan bilis consumers like me.

But unfortunately, he was occupied that time. He was servicing a high-end road bike. And its owner was standing nearby, in full cycling gear, looking quite cross at something. I'm sure the shopkeeper would've given me appropriate attention if he had his hands free.

He had assistants. A couple of young Malay boys, who clearly do not know their job. They can't quote prices. They have to refer to the boss every time I ask for a price. Almost every question I ask them had to be fielded to the boss. I felt kinda bad for distracting him all the time, because he looked kinda busy.

As I was leaving the shop, the boss actually waved and said, "Thank you, bro" with a smile. I'm sure he wished he could've been of better help.

It's true what they say. The shopkeeper is a nice guy. But he has to do something about his extra hands if he wants to keep a steady stream of customers coming.

Final stop, Bike Boutique.

Mei Yee moseyed in there before, and told me about the shop. She said the guy there, Daniel, was very helpful and he explained a lot of stuff to her. She said I would find the shop very interesting, and that I would like talking to Daniel too.

Plus, she said he is cute! But a little young... :P

It's too super high-end, man! The bikes there are untouchable! The most high-end bike shop of all! The bike-fitting service is cheaper though, at RM150.

I met the Daniel guy. He was a little un-chatty at first. But at the mention of Mei Yee, suddenly he became a few obvious notches nicer! He even offered me a second-hand bike, which is actually his very own, at a better price.

I wonder what Mei Yee did to him. Hmmm....

Maybe I should send her to every "male type" shop before I step in myself. I have a feeling it will work wonders.

Now that I think about it...

There's this NGV workshop in Batu Caves...

Of chickens, eggs and mammoth

2008-06-10T00:41:00.009+08:00

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

The idea of church is no longer popular. Many believers do not see the point of coming any longer. What more for unbelievers.

Sometimes, I think the blame cuts both ways. People should be chastened if they are giving up the habit of meeting together. The church also should bear the blame if the idea of church is no longer relevant to people.

It's like this. I see a rascal on the street. Why did he turn out like that? I'll say because he never went to school when he was young. And he never listened to his teachers.

I go to school, and I say the students don't want to learn. They are not worth teaching. They just come and create problems. So, I say they'd be better off if they don't come to school at all.

Then when I meet a rascal, I say it's because he never went to school.

Who's to blame. The chicken or the egg?

We want people to fill the pews in church, But we don't want to admit that the speakers we put up there may be, at best, boring... Or, at worst, incompetently untrained. And we expect people to come away inspired and encouraged.

We want people to come to prayer meetings. But our prayer items are regulated in a way that misses the relevance of things happening around us, or to our own lives. And we expect normal Christians (normal, meaning Christians who don't usually pray only for the church and its ministries all the time) to come.

We want people to attend cell group meetings in homes. But we do it in a way where there is little or no difference as a church meeting. And we expect unbelievers to come in an feel at home.

We want people to be serious about coming for Bible study. But we do it in the same way over and over again. And we expect people from different age groups, different levels of maturity and different learning habits to find it useful and enjoyable.

There have been many instances when people come out from mainstream denominations to form their own churches. Many times, it is out of frustration. "Positive frustration", if you know what I mean. They want to come out, and start something new. Something better. Something that is only possible if it is done outside the umbrella of the mainstream denomination.

When that happens... Denominationalists automatically cast a prejudiced eye on such churches. Even if those "splinter-group churches, a.k.a. independent churches" could be doing better, when matched point for point and ministry for ministry... It's all considered "inferior" and assumed to be "wrong" in some way or another because of denominational prejudice.

I won't go into whether or not those "prejudices" are good or bad. I'm just pointing out that there is such a thing.

So, what's the moral of the story?

The moral of the story is...

Sometimes we cannot shake our heads at only one party.

We have to tepuk dada, tanya selera.

Which is it?

The chicken? Or...

The egg?

I'm using a picture of a funny chicken and a cartoon egg, hoping that it will break some tension in considering serious thoughts.

* * * * * * * * * *

One Sunday, I heard a speaker say this:

"We must not love mammoth."

*hee hee... snicker*

I know I'm bad... I shouldn't not make fun of one, small misspoken word. But I can't help but muffle a giggle...

Awww... I'm sorry, giant wooly elephant. I cannot love you...

*mmmph... giggle...* =)

Room for rent

2008-06-09T13:17:00.011+08:00

Coming to work in KL? Looking for a safe, tidy house mate?

I'm putting a room out for rent.

This is the living room...

Dining table from Lorenzo. I mean, Tesco. Sofa chair, scavenged from downstairs.

Here's another view of the living room...

Curtains from... Giant. Not translucent. Privacy guaranteed.

If you wanna combat the petrol hike, my bicycle is up for sale. RM400, along with the helmet, front light, back light, bicycle lock and fluorescent jacket. Used only for a few months, during the wait for my Proton Iswara to arrive.

You can hang your clothes here...

No washing machine though. It's caveman style.

But don't worry, we have this device...

Got internet. Not so caveman, rite...

Here's the kitchen...

Equipped with fridge, rice cooker, thermo pot, gas stove and kitchen cabinet.

I cook at least a meal a day. Arrangements can be made if you want me to cook for two. My cooking, ala best.

Here's the store room...

You can store your bags and gadget boxes here. Got extra mattress and pillows for guests.

And of course, here's your room...

Can't quite show you the dimensions. A room with a view. It's easily 6 steps by 4 steps. I'm tall.

Here's the view from your window...

Can see the Petronas kiosk from here. We'll have long hours debating about NGV.

You can see the second hand car shop...

They auction cars every fortnight. If you are interested to buy your own vehicle to travel around.

You can also see a lot of trees... And my old car!

Nah, zoom in for you...

If you really need a vehicle to get around, but you don't want to buy a car... You can use mine. All it needs is a new battery, an alternator, its radiator fixed and a car wash. I'll help you fix it up good. Petrol's on you.

My place is in Selayang. Away from city life, quiet place to stay, cooling during the night. Accessible by Rapid KL bus. KL city and PJ is within reasonable driving distance.

Rental is at RM220. Not just for a room. It's for half a flat. Utilities and internet included.

Leave me a line if you're interested.

Gangster...

2008-06-07T23:48:00.004+08:00

Today, I was lining up to change coins for a ferry ride. Mei Yee and Christine Siew was standing in line behind me. It was a very long line. I was getting near the front already. And suddenly...

One guy cut in, right in front of me!

I moved nearer to him, and stared him down from the side. Very closely. He dared not turn his head.

He changed RM20 worth of coins. He was not alone. He was making a ferry trip with a group of friends.

I looked at his friends. They don't look like they're from here. Possibly Chinese Indonesians. Young, rich-looking, wearing funky clothes. The guy who cut in was wearing a hood, and a t-shirt with a skull on it.

While waiting for the ferry, I stared at him from afar. The kind of stare that I give to truants, that says, "If you're gonna jump the fence, do it before you meet my gaze because you know I'm looking at you."

His eyes were darting everywhere. He don't dare to look.

Quite brazen, rite? You're not from this country, and you come and cut queue like you own the place.

Anyway, I was having a fun day. So, I let him off easy.

When I was sitting in the ferry, I said to George Lim, "I'm disappointed... That guy dared to cut in front of me! That means, I don't look gangster enough. Of all people he could cut, he cut in front of me wor! Surely, if I look really gangster, he won't cut my line, rite?"

Catharsis moment...

One of my secret dreams to to have a gang, where I can be gang leader. It's really fun! You'll feel like you're very big, just because of how you look and because you have a lot of people with you. As long as you are with your gang, you will not feel out of place. That will also mean you will not be uncool. I'm putting this in very small fonts so that you cannot read this secret easily, and so that if you are a teenager and you are reading this, you will feel assured that what you're going through is normal...

Anyway...

Being in last place is how the Lord Jesus teaches us to behave. Here's a music video that shows the top two things that irritate people: Crazy driving and cutting lines. And how Christians should deal with it.

Every "loser" in this video are members of a Christian rock band called Audio Adrenaline. Check out how the rambut panjang fella let people cut his line. Light-hearted and fun to watch!

Let's discuss!

2008-06-06T09:13:00.003+08:00

Arguments I've heard against NGV:

Taxi drivers do it because it's their livelihood. They need to make a profit. So, to lessen costs, it is necessary for them to use NGV. You are a normal user. You don't need NGV.

True. But with the recent petrol price hike, the difference in price between 1 litre of petrol and 1 litre of NGV has become too big to be insignificant. We're not talking about a difference of 50 cents or even RM1. We're talking about a difference of RM2.07 per liter.

Even a normal user will benefit significantly cost-wise by using NGV.

Change your driving habits, not change to NGV. Drive less.

If I am a user that has been making a lot of joyrides, then maybe changing my driving habits may be the way to go.

However, my car is used only for necessary journeys. I can't "drive less" if I have to drive to get to those places, e.g. to work, to church, to Section 10.

Ok, maybe I can cycle to school. But my current RM0.3k bike is killing my posture. It won't do good for my minor scoliosis. To cycle without pulling my back out, I'll need a well-fitted RM3k bike. That will cost almost as much as an NGV installation already.

To church. Nobody else from church stays in my area. If I want to take public transport, I have to go to Terminal Putra, take an LRT to KL Central, then take the KTM to Kepong. The cost of travelling this way will be even higher than driving. And the time wastage will not be worth it.

Besides, you need to drive to get to Terminal Putra.

Section 10. Same as above. I'll still need to drive to Terminal Putra, the cost + the waiting is not worth it.

How will it affect the car mechanically?

It will lose some power. But I'm not going racing. It's purely for economical reasons.

How will it affect the car physically?

I will have to sacrifice boot space. That means, it may be less useful as a vehicle to shift things from place to place. I may have to hire a lorry next time if I'm going to shift out, or if I'm helping someone else to shift out.

It may be less comfortable if I'm taking 4 passengers for a road trip. Some luggage may have to sit with them on their laps.

I guess it's an unavoidable sacrifice that must be made. But I don't play golf. So, it may not be that bad.

There are too few NGV kiosks. If you run out of gas and you can't find an NGV kiosk, your car will be stuck and you're done for.

You don't have to throw away your petrol tank when you install the NGV tank. You can have both tanks running. You can switch to petrol anytime, and switch back to NGV anytime.

The Petronas kiosk just downstairs from my place has NGV. All I have to do is fill up on NGV when there's no queue, and keep RM20 worth of petrol in the tank for emergency use.

What if you shift out from Selayang? What if you come back to Penang for long-term? You can't rely on Selayang's Petronas kiosk forever. There are no NGV kiosks in Penang.

I'm sure I can find out from the taxi drivers where else NGV can be found in Selangor/KL.

With the recent petrol price hike, many private users will be installing NGV apparatus. It wasn't a need then. But it is becoming a need now. With an increase in demand, there will be an increase in supply. So, many NGV kiosks may spring up in the near future. It can't be too hard to imagine that Penangites will be running on NGV one day too.

But of course, this is an assumption. It still baffles a lot of people why NGV is so scarce if it's so much cheaper and it is environment-friendly. Maybe it's some conspiracy up there to make us continue to buy petrol. If everyone starts using NGV, what will that do to the oil industry?

Anyway, if my calculations are correct, I would've recovered my "losses" from installing NGV apparatus in around a year's time. I'm betting I won't get rich fast enough to buy a house elsewhere in a year's time. And I won't get posted elsewhere that fast either.

Worst case scenario, I may just uninstall the NGV apparatus. But that will not happen before the cost has been recovered.

If you can think of this, I'm sure everyone else would have thought of this before.

Yah. So... Just because nobody or very few people have thought of it, it is not possible for me to have thought of it? It's not conceivable for me to make a wise, pragmatic step because nobody or very few people have done it before?

If the demand for NGV increases, so will the cost of NGV installation and the price of NGV gas in the very near future. So, it won't be much of a difference compared with petrol.

Yes. But I'm betting it won't rise fast enough before I can recover my costs. RM2.70 per liter for petrol and RM0.635 per liter for NGV gas. It will take a very long time for the price of NGV gas to quadruple.

But of course, it is still conjecture. In Malaysia, you'll never know. Once they find out certain people have been beating the system, they may make a drastic policy change overnight. Or sometimes, in the same evening.

Ask the Singaporeans. Ask the Thais.

Let's count!

2008-06-06T01:01:00.005+08:00

Pumped a full tank at the petrol station today. It came up to RM98!

Before the petrol price hike, a full tank costed around RM75.

That is easily RM25 more per full tank!

If I use one full tank per week...
I will be spending RM25 more per week.
That will be RM100 more per month.
That will be RM1200 more per year.

*wipe sweat*

Let's make a comparative analysis between petrol and NGV. If we use my Proton Iswara 1.3 as a case study...

Let's say a full tank costs RM100.
A full tank gives me around 450 km.
That means, if I run on petrol, I will be spending RM0.22 per km.

Now, if the newspaper source is correct (see previous post)...

A full tank of NGV costs RM12.
Let's say a full tank covers an average of 200 km.
If I run on NGV, I will be spending RM0.06 per km.

That is almost 4 times more cost effective than running on petrol!

Now, if I run on petrol...
Let's say I use up an average of one full tank of petrol per week.
That will be RM100 per month.
I will be spending RM400 per month.

If I run on NGV...
I will be spending only RM110 per month.
(If you count km for km, it will still come to the same thing).

This means, I will save RM290 per month!

Ok. Assuming that installing the NGV apparatus costs RM4000 (by generous standards)...
If I save RM290 per month on travel expenses,
The cost of installing the NGV apparatus can be covered in a span of...

14 MONTHS!

That means...

If my car runs on NGV tomorrow, whatever "loss" incurred in installation costs will be recovered in a little over a year's time. After that, it's all gain!

If I drive more, the "losses" will be recovered even faster!

The Petronas kiosk downstairs has NGV. After school hours, nobody lines up for NGV.

To NGV or not to NGV? Cast your vote...

Chia yew! Chia yew!

2008-06-05T13:19:00.008+08:00

All newspaper quotes taken from The Star, 5th June.

"Besides an increase in petrol and diesel prices by 78 sen and RM1 per litre respectively, Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi also said new electricity tariffs were also going to be revamped for Peninsular Malaysia users beginning July 1." - Front page.

Three things come to mind.

The first:

Ok, I feel bad for him. Maybe it's not his fault. If someone wanted to send you to space, would you say no?

The second:

Please don't go up there. If they insist on sending you, please find some meteoric rock that can be liquidated into useful hydrocarbon compounds.

The third:

Electricity tariffs will be revamped by July 1? Why not by tonight? Efficiency is good. Acting earlier than expected, even better!

They did it during the dissolution of the parliament. They did it again for the petrol hike. Why not make this the third.

* * * * * * * * * *

"He (Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi) said the hike in fuel prices would cause a projected increase in inflation of around 4% to 5%." - N3.

"In Kota Kinabalu, Consumers Association of Sabah president Datuk Patrick Sindu said the price of goods was expected to increase between 10% and 20%" - N6.

Somebody will be right, somebody will be wrong. Or, Somebody may be lying, somebody may be making an honest mistake.

Or, maybe both can be right, because one is talking about Peninsula Malaysia, another is talking about Sabah and Sarawak.

But this statement below is the best:

"On claims that the fuel price increase would lead to inflation rising by 1%, (Selangor Menteri Besar Tan Sri) Khalid (Ibrahim) said the question was not the percentage but whether consumers have money in their pockets." - N8.

Totally "sao korna" the question, man! (Sao korna is a Hokkien phrase that literally means making a corner turn. In other words, it means to avoid a difficult question or uncomfortable situation)

Ok la, maybe I'm just choosing to see the bad side of things. Maybe he's trying to say the real problem is whether or not the rakyat will have money in their pockets, not so much about the projected percentage...

* * * * * * * * * *

"If not adjusted, the current income is definitely not enough for the average consumer. If people cannot cope, there might also be a rise in the crime rate." - Prof Datuk Hamdan Adnan, Fomca adviser.

This will hasten my turn to get robbed in Selayang. "Cina man pumping petrol! Let's get him! Get him!"

* * * * * * * * * *

There is no shortage of oil in the world and its present price level (US$135) was driven up by unreal speculation, said Malaysia Airlines managing director and chief executive Datuk Seri Idris Jala.

Asked what he thought was the fair value of crude oil at present, Idris replied: 'US$40.' " - N10.

Funny, we're not hearing anything from Ah Nua yet.

* * * * * * * * * *

"Poultry farmers have welcomed the Government's move to abolish the RM6 per kilo ceiling price for chicken." - N14.

What will happen to KFC? Nando's? Both my favourite chicken places!

It is indeed a sad, sad time...

* * * * * * * * * *

"Ong (Ka Chuan) said the Government had no choice but to increase the price due to the rise in global crude oil prices." - N8.

"Actually, I'm sure Pak Lah is going to lose the next election. If a supposedly informed citizen can overlook the worldwide situation on oil... Habislah. I'm of the opinion, he had no choice. Poor guy." - A.L., Sales and Marketing Executive, top chemical plant in Malaysia.

Kesian, kesian... Everyone also kesian...

* * * * * * * * * *

Natural Gas for Vehicle (NGV). No change. Prices remain at RM0.635 per litre - Front page.

Aslan (Hafizi Ahmad, managing director of Aslan Auto Services Sdn Bhd) said motorists who used natural gas could save up to 70% in petrol.

He said a full NGV tank which averaged at 17 litres was sold at RM12.

The amount, he said, could cover a mileage of about 230 km on highways and between 180km and 200km in town areas.

"The cost of installing the NGV apparatus ranges between RM3,000 and RM9,000, depending on the gas tank size." - M4.

Therefore, the pressing question now is...

To do this:

Or this:

Both about the same price.

* * * * * * * * * *

"When the Lamb opened the third seal, I heard the third living creature say, 'Come!' I looked, and there before me was a black horse! Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand.

Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, 'A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!" - John son of Zebedee, Revelation 6:5-6.

Time to take heed of biblical prophecies.

You tipu me!

2008-06-04T09:59:00.003+08:00

Petrol price is going up by August.

Anwar said if PKR wins, petrol price will go down.

BN came up with a less attractive, but more "reasonable" deal. They said if they win, petrol price will not go up.

Tipu wan!

There may have a separate tier for petrol payments by credit card. Credit card users may have to pay more for petrol, compared to cash payments.

There goes my anti-theft, cashless existence plan.

I told the auntie at the kedai runcit today:

"2013, wa khee eh see liao. Or lai eh. Wa kah lu kong. Mien lau lu eh. Petrol tan tiok khee! Lu siong sin wah..."

Translation:

"In 2013, I will run for elections. Sungai Ara seat. I tell you. I no need to bluff you wan. Petrol price will go up! You trust me la..."

Auntie said:

"Han lo! han lo!"

Translation:

"Ya loh! Ya loh!"

See. Instant rapport. What did I tell you. Honesty is the best policy. I no bluff you wan...

Faster take Tesco plastic bags to the nearest petrol station. Fill up! If bring Sunshine Square plastic bag, they give cheaper. Really wan, auntie...

Anti-burn out solution

2008-06-03T19:59:00.008+08:00

A) Become a bike rider.

This one can't work out.

It is an expensive sport. From shoes to helmet, from aerobar to pedals, everything costs a lot of money. Bodily fuel prices may match car fuel prices. Can't wear sunglasses. Long cycling hours. And possible prostrate problems.

So...

.
Bye bye, bike... *sob*

B) Build a tuition empire.

Boring. Money may be good. But in the long term, I'll end up looking forward to the pay cheque only.

I mean, c'mon, honestly... How interesting can Math get? Even Add Math, for that matter. It's easy to teach. But it's a static subject. The only change you'll find is a change in the syllabus... When it gets watered down to become easier.

But if I manage a tuition empire... Different story lah.

C) Build a translation company.

Same as above. Money is not as good as tuition anyway. Human interaction, zero. I don't have the qualifications to back me up. And it's boring. So it's a quadruple whammy.

I may like managing it, though. But doing it... Different story.

D) Going to seminary / bible college.

This one can't work out either.

Too controversial. I go there, I lose trust from the local assembly.

GLO training school is good, no doubt. But it lacks accredition. I won't know whether or not I got it right anyway. I'll still feel as untested as before. And I personally feel any form of real education cannot be done inside a fishbowl.

Sorry la. I think GLO is a good training ground. But it does not fulfill what I'm looking for.

E) Concentrate on accumulating wealth and buy a house.

The methodology of this goal is the same as B and C. So, it will arrive at the same conclusion.

And it doesn't sound right anyway...

F) Get married.

I got to figure out the puzzle first. See previous post. Hehe...

That leaves me with one option...

Seriously thinking of doing a Master of Educational Management (MEdM).

Many things I'm not sure of. But a few things I'm sure:

1. If I'm gonna do it, I will do it in UM. For proximity reasons, and credibility reasons.

2. The course content must involve a dissertation / research. Getting a Masters without a dissertation means very little to academics.

3. The course content is very "my type". You look at the hyperlink above and see...

4. It will cost RM7221 over 3 semesters, for a full-time student. That will come up to RM401.17 per month. If I do it part-time, it will certainly cost more.

5. Scholarships are available only for full-time students. Either I make it on my own steam, or I wait for a government grant and do it full-time while on study leave.

6. The intake starts either in July or December.

What am I going to do with a MEdM?

Well, the main reason for now is to keep my mind off the dreariness of school. A short-term, anti-burnout solution.

After that, it may come in useful if I want to jump ship.

Here's an original one

2008-06-03T01:15:00.004+08:00

What's the difference between this...

And this...

In one of them, you can be certain that the celebrated one will be happy forever.

In one of them, something just ended. In the other one, something just started.

In one of them, nobody will ask you when is your turn.

Hahaha. Go figure...

Of lies and deceit

2008-06-02T12:47:00.006+08:00

Mr. S described how he got an A for his Masters thesis. "I went up to the lecturer. I knew he wanted to use my work as his own. He wanted to give me a B. I said I wanted an A. I insisted. And I got an A."

*scratch head*

If you don't want the hassle of preparing an exam paper, go to Pn. N. She has a side job of preparing exam questions for people. You tell her what kind of questions you want. She will type it out for you. She will prepare the marking scheme for you. All you have to do is pay her by per page basis.

*scratch head*

Somebody wanted to pass his PTK exam to get a salary increment. He asked me to type his 20-page assignment because he was not computer savvy.

He asked me to type straight out from a couple of books. No quotations included. No credits given to sources. Everything copied lock, stock and barrel.

It is his third try now. And he wonders why he cannot pass his PTK exam.

After typing out 11 pages worth of plagiarism, I asked him one simple question. "So, which part is your work?"

I declined to continue.

*scratch head*

Once, my house phone bill came up to more than a hundred bucks. My housemate (now ex-housemate) made those calls. He was using the phone because he was writing theses for a few of his friends.

*scratch head*

Many times I have caught students cheating red handed during exams. Other times, I sniffed them out from marking their exam papers. Every time upon discovery, I grill them over slow fire.

You may think that cheating in an exam is no big deal. They grow up in families where lying is an accepted form of wisdom. They come to school, and they do the same. They leave school, and they continue doing the same. And we wonder why we have fraudulent syndicates, corrupt cops, lying lawyers and rampaging robbers in our neighbourhood.

Lies may serve a temporal boon. But it will be a bane in the bigger scheme of things.

Tolerance for dishonesty today is approval of dishonesty tomorrow.

Besides the moral reason, there is also a personal reason.

You see...

When someone tells you a lie, he expects you to believe it. No one tells a lie expecting you not to believe it.
Before he tells you a lie, he must have thought that you are stupid enough to buy it.
After he tells you a lie, and if you know it is a lie, and you do nothing about it, he will think his judgement about you is correct.
If you don't know it's a lie, then he proves himself to be correct about you.

So, when someone tells you a lie, he is actually insulting your intelligence.

So, yes. I take honesty very seriously. And I take lies personally. So, if you ever want to serve me an untruth, pray that you are smarter than I. I love to grill over slow fire.

You know what two old rockers said?

2008-06-01T20:51:00.006+08:00

I'm thinking of jumping ship.

Cannot la, like that. If every day I live a repetitive life. One year and four months on the job. And I'm already getting cranky and grumpy. I don't think I can last another 32 years.

Maybe it's because I've already started teaching before I officially graduated as one. Maybe I already got all the "kicks" when I was still an unofficial rookie, temping as a substitute. Maybe that's why I don't feel "new" on the job. I feel like I'm already institutionalized into the job before I even "started".

Or, maybe it's because of the environment. If doing whatever you're good at makes no difference whether or not you're doing it (I know it sounds like an oxymoron), you will feel very unmotivated. Maybe it could've been different if I was put in a different place.

Or, maybe it's the lack of tangible goals. Which is worse... Having a goal and failing to make it, or not being able to have a goal at all? I'm experiencing the latter.

If there's no "kick" in my main job, maybe it could be better if I had some kind of "side kick".

I was talking to the girlfriend of a friend during a wedding dinner. An interesting prospect came up. I'm keeping that little hope alive. Maybe, it just might work.

Tip for you guys. When you go to weddings, go talk to your friends' girlfriends. You may not know what you'll find.

And no, I'm not talking about an affair. Tsk tsk...

U2 Lyrics
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For Lyrics

Research this!

2008-05-29T23:46:00.002+08:00

Do research on a topic? Present it in a creative and effective way? Then wait for impact?

This is what I mean, man...

Check this out!

Got wind tunnel test some more! Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahaha!

Plus... Real life application in office!

Professionals discuss about it on national TV! Talk about impact, man...

Don't take your job too seriously, man... It will make you do crazy things. Seriously!

Don't you agree?

2008-05-29T01:37:00.007+08:00

I believe every teacher should have a personal assistant.

You know, like... Pay some dude to mark all your exam papers, fill in the scores, do the daily attendance, send out warning letters, collect school fees, manage student data, process outgoing students, etc.

If some cool dudette can do those things for you, even better!

Because hor... you see ah... behind every successful man... there is...

A chun secretary!

Why do you think Tony Stark can build a robot suit like this?

It's because he got this mah...

See?

Anyway...

If someone else can take care of all those other stuff for you, then you can have more time and energy and um... motivation... to do the stuff that got kick wan la!

Like, you can concentrate on preparing your lessons...
Or fine-tuning them...
Or come up with creative and effective ideas to get the content across...
Or figure out how to improve on pedagogy...
Or work together with other colleagues to come up with better ways...

And you won't end up cooking your lessons straight out from the book.

When you can get original with your lessons...
Execute the idea...
Evaluate its effectiveness...
And wait for impact...

That wan, barulah got kick!

Having to go through piles of papers to mark...

No kick.

Tulibu dibu douchoo

2008-05-28T23:41:00.003+08:00

Almost finished marking the Math papers for one class.

Just when I thought that Math teachers got it bad...

I remind myself of the English teachers...

I am comforted.

Occupational hazard

2008-05-27T14:25:00.004+08:00

Just finished marking the Add Maths papers.

I've repeated myself to my students over and over again. But they still don't get it.

Just when I thought all my efforts to teach the same thing over and over again was to no avail... Here's something I learned.

If you fail, try again.
If you fail again, then try again.
If you think nobody heard you, nevermind. Say it again.
If nobody understands, it's ok. Just say it again.
If nobody is listening, don't be shy. Keep on saying it.
After that, explain it again.
Then, say it again.
Then, do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.

One day, the world will listen.

The first try:

The interview:

And he made it:

Reynaldo Lapuz. You are my inspiration.

Why I'm considering to become an acrobat

2008-05-21T15:36:00.005+08:00

1. Solve the simultaneous equations 2y – x = 1 and xy + x² = 26.

[4 marks]

xy + x² = 26 …………….. 1

2y – x = 1

x = 1 – 2y ……………….. 2

Substitute 2 in 1

Sigh...

Should I even continue...

Don't be a cosmic killjoy

2008-05-20T21:02:00.005+08:00

I have to set homework questions for the upcoming school holidays.

Let's see if the faculty has a sense of humour.

* * * * * * * * * *

Complete the following arguments.

9. Premise 1: Every student in SMKSB does not like to do Math during the holidays.

Premise 2: _____________________________________________

Conclusion: I do not like to do Math during the holidays.

10. Premise 1: If my teachers love me, they will give me work to do.

Premise 2: My teachers love me.

Conclusion: ____________________________________________

Make a conclusion by deduction.

11. Every first day of school, many students will be late. Today is the first day of school.

_____________________________________________________

12. I will bring handphone to school if Mr. Jasmin will not take my handphone away. Mr. Jasmin will take my handphone away.

______________________________________________________

No-more-el

2008-05-19T23:05:00.006+08:00

Noel is dead.

18th May, Sunday.

Mei Yee left the house at 2 pm. Noel was still in the house. Mei Yee went to the office to edit Scott and Anne's wedding video.

I was traveling back from Malacca at 3 pm. When I was back, I went straight to Mei Yee's office. I reached her office at 6:30 pm. We went out for dinner.

After dinner, we went to Mei Yee's house. It was already late. Noel was nowhere to be found. We both knew she must've ran out. "Not to worry. She will come back tomorrow," I said.

19th May, Monday.

Mei Yee called at 5:30 pm. She asked me to go to her place and look for the cat. I was like, no... It's psycho! Why should I make a 45-minute drive to Section 10, and walk around the neighbourhood to look for Noel? Mei Yee's office is just 5 minutes away from her house.

She said she is working. I said, then stop editing the video a while, and go look for it lah.

She said she has tried this morning. I said, so try again lah.

She said I wasn't doing anything at home anyway. I said, which is more practical... For me to travel 45 minutes there to look for a cat, or for her to do it herself from 5 minutes away?

So, ding-dong-ding-dong back and forth. I was adamant. I'm not going all the way there to look for a cat. I thought it was really impractical. Crazy... The cat is scared of me anyway. If I go around calling her name, she will probably run and hide. I couldn't picture myself driving all the way there, walking around the neighbourhood, calling out Noel's name, feeling like a psycho, failing to find her, and driving back again. Mei Yee has already tried this morning. How lucky can I get if I try?

Well... After a while... I thought I'd go there and do it anyway. After all, it's not the first time I've done unreasonable things. Some things are just not meant to be reasoned. Does it make sense? Doesn't matter. Just do it. Is it practical? Doesn't matter. Just do it anyway. You want to get into complications? No. So, just do it.

But why should I?
No, I shouldn't...
Yes, I should...
No, it's nonsensical!
Yes, it's a good thing to do...
No, how many times must I allow myself to do this?
Yes, you should do it because you should...
No...
Yes...
No...
Yes...
No...
Yes.

The ding-dong-ing within myself ended at a yes.

So, I took a bath...
Muttered why I allow myself to be led to do such foolish things...
Changed my clothes...
Muttered back that usually, those foolish things don't turn out to be silly enough to regret about anyway...
Went to the storeroom to look for a flashlight...
The muttering self-debate went on...

Then the phone rang. Mei Yee said Noel is dead.

Suddenly, I wished I wasn't such a pragmatist.

After I got to Mei Yee's neighbourhood and did further investigations from eye-witness accounts, this is what really happened.

Eyewitness: Neighbour. She saw a small, black and white cat being attacked by two dogs. The neighbour said the cat did not look like a stray cat. The cat looked too clean to not have an owner. The neighbour shoo-ed the dogs away.

The two dogs: Not guilty.

Eyewitness: That same neighbour saw another dog coming for another attack at the cat. It was a fiercer one. That dog took Noel's life.

Time of death: Approximately 5 pm, 18th May, Sunday.

Last seen alive by Mei Yee: Approximately 2 pm, 18th May, Sunday.

Between 2 pm and 5 pm, Noel must have found a way to dash out of the house. Maybe a housemate carelessly left the back door open while doing some cooking. Noel dashed out, climbed to the roof, and hopped down to the back alley.

Noel met two stray dogs. She tried to fend for herself. A neighbour came to her rescue and shoo-ed the two stray dogs away.

The two stray dogs went and reported to their boss. They did not like a small cat to be on their turf. The cat was too small and too cute and too clean to be left alone. Irresistible to the canines, they sent their boss to deal with Noel.

The fierce dog came and attacked Noel. This time, the neighbour failed to intervene. The fierce dog killed Noel.

Noel's body was found by a lamp-post. The neighbour testified that the body looked ok. Noel was not badly mauled. She was probably fatally bitten on her neck.

The neighbour's maid put the body in a black plastic bag. The plastic bag was left at the junction, where the trash will be collected. The trash will be collected tomorrow.

There was nothing Mei Yee could've known about it. There was no way Mei Yee could've done anything about it.

Mei Yee: Not guilty.

There was no way I could've saved the situation from happening. By the time Mei Yee and I discovered Noel was missing, it was already nightfall. Even if I had led Mei Yee to go out to look for Noel that Sunday night after dinner, we would have seen the body by the lamp-post. That's about as far as we could've changed things.

Joshua Hooi: Not guilty.

A sobbing Mei Yee harboured the hope that Noel could've still been alive. Mei Yee did not see the body. Maybe Noel was just injured. Maybe she did not really die. Maybe she was just badly hurt and hiding somewhere. Mei Yee would not gain closure without seeing the body.

Evidence: Located as described by the eye-witness. But the bag was not opened. Mei Yee did not want to see the body.

Do the stray dogs have any prior criminal offence?

Witness: The stray dogs had mauled another neighbour's Siamese cat. The fierce dog had also bitten a kid before.

Verdict: Stray dogs guilty. 2 counts of cat-slaughter, 1 count of man-slaughter.

Sentence: One day, the driver of a red Proton Iswara was driving his car along a back alley in Section 10. It was late. He was feeling tired. He wanted to get home as fast as possible. The road was dark. He thought he saw something ahead. He was fatigued. He was a little slow to hit the brakes. So he didn't. And he thought he heard a thud...

Date of sentence: Not confirmed until further notice.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mei Yee: Will there be cats in heaven?

Joshua Hooi: Well... There will be lots of weird animals with wings and many eyes...

Mei Yee: Dowan... I only want Noel...

* * * * * * * * * *

Mei Yee is busying herself with the wedding video at the moment to keep her mind off things.

I guess that is her way of getting closure.

I guess this way is mine.

I loved Noel too.

*sniffle*

Noel

25th December 2007 - 18th May 2008

Rest in peace, Noel. There will never be another kitten as cute and as notty as you. You will be dearly missed. By both Mei Yee and I.

*sniffle*

It is a sad day...

Have you seen this miaow?

2008-05-19T12:38:00.008+08:00

Her name is Noel. She doesn't wear that bell anymore. She has been missing for 24 hours already.

She is a really high-class miaow. She was picked up from the streets. But she will not eat normal cat food. She only wants to eat wet food. Or dried prawns. Or ikan bilis.

She is so lost. She will probably look like this...

She will sit in a "royal position". Maybe under a bush. Or in some enclosed corner.

She may possibly be spotted somewhere in Section 10. If you happen to see her at the park near Amcorp Mall, you can recognize her by the way she walks. Cos, you see, she doesn't "walk" when she is outdoors. She sneaks around. Like, walking really low.

Can you picture a guerilla soldier, crawling on his belly, with a rifle in his hands, trying to avoid being seen by the enemy? That's how she walks. Only difference is, she may be doing it in open space and everyone can see her.

She is not used to being outdoors. If you see her, just tangkap her...

And bring her back.

Her owner will be in great distress... If she got mauled by a bigger cat... Or kena baham by a dog... Or kena belit by an ular sawa... Or kena kidnap by a lyin', thievin' neighbour...

Collection of bizzare sightings

2008-05-13T18:41:00.010+08:00

When you come to class... And you see students with this kind of hair style...

You just know you're in for a field day. The more chicken heads per class, the higher the stress per hour.

This was found in the canteen's mee goreng.

My colleague says it's a cockroach. The canteen man says it's a kepala sotong.

What do you say it is?

Believe it or not, SMK Selayang Bharu produces many legends. One of them came back to be a judge for our Teater Komsas.

See if you know who he is...

Mat Rock! It's Mat Rock, from Spanar Jaya!

Spanar spanar jaya... See if the tune rings in your head now.

Mat Rock, getting a cenderahati from the Pengetua. Never knew I could see a local tv actor so up close.

When you think wonders will cease... It doesn't.

I came back to the staffroom after class. Guess what I saw right outside the male staffroom...

An old man in suspended relaxation!

You wanna know what he did before he rested?

So much for saving our trees.

What about sunrise... What about rain... See if Michael Jackson's song is stuck in your head now.

How come dreams come with a wind-chime sound effect?

2008-05-12T22:18:00.006+08:00

What do you do when you have to sit like deadwood and invigilate exams?

You dream.

How feasible is home-schooling in Malaysia anyway. If you really think about it. Can it really materialize as a formal alternative?

Private school students pay more than a grand a month on fees. That comes up to approximately 10 grand per year. That can put 225 government school students through an entire year.

International school students are even crazier with school fees. They pay by semester. And they have 3 semesters a year. Their fees make private schools look second class, and government schools like charity homes.

People send their kids to private schools because they believe they should give the best to their children if they can afford it. But for most other people, that is not even an option.

Questions I'd like to find out from students:

Why do kids go to school?
How many students think they learn more outside the school, in tuition centers, or through self-study at home?
How many students believe that going to school is just a necessary evil to sit for a government exam?
How many students will stop going to school if they can sit for a government exam without having to register under a school?
How many students think they will still come to school anyway because it is a good avenue for socializing?
How many students have stopped believing that they can get quality education in school?

Questions I'd like to ask teachers:

How many teachers have stopped believing they can give quality education in school?
How many teachers feel that their potential is restricted circumstantially in government schools?
How many teachers will be willing to jump ship and work in a home-schooling environment, and be paid according to the same salary scheme?

Questions I'd like to ask the policy-makers:

Will home-schooling be seen as a complement or a threat to the Pelan Induk Pembangunan Pendidikan (PIPP)? Consider these:

The second teras in PIPP is membangunkan modal insan. What if home-schooling can do that better?
The third teras: Memperkasakan sekolah kebangsaan. Can home-schooling be seen as an option in the national schooling system, not as its competitor?
The fourth teras: Merapatkan jurang pendidikan. What if home-schooling can help masalah keciciran, in the sense that students may not want to go to school, but they may want to be home-schooled if it fits their needs better?
The fifth teras: Memartabatkan profesion keguruan. What if home-schooling teachers be recognized as a separate class of their own? It may serve to be a discriminant, but it can also be seen as a motivation.
The sixth teras: Melonjakkan kecemerlangan institusi pendidikan. What if home-schooling boosts the image of government education system for providing a pragmatic and effective alternative in bringing education to the masses?

(You may wonder why I conveniently left out the first teras. It's because I think we don't have to fool ourselves and pretend to kick against the goads. Membina negara bangsa.)

Questions I'd like to ask the Education Department:

Will it be a feasible idea to have home-schooling in Malaysia, run by a semi-government body?
Will it be reasonable to pour in more funding into this concept to equip the infrastructure and staff in support of this idea?
If funding is a problem, what if home-schoolers don't mind paying a little more in school fees, somewhere in the middle between government school fees and private school fees?
How trustworthy will a "special commission" be to select specialist teachers to join the home-schooling bandwagon?
Can I trust that this idea will not be hijacked by nationalist zealots and be used to champion race-based agendas?

Questions I'd like to ask those who can make it happen:

If I can prove that home-schooling can improve academic potential, help tackle the problem of truancy, drug abuse and gangsterism, will you back me up on it?
If I can prove to you that we have a sizeable amount of students who want to be the pioneer batch, will you allow them to be it?
If I can prove that a respectable amount of teachers share this same mind, will they be allowed to jump ship and still serve the government in home-schools?
Do I have to be a Masters degree holder or PhD holder before I can be taken seriously?
Do I have to link up with an English-speaking Malay educator/administrator to boost the credibility of this idea?
If I don't mind the project/concept/idea to be named after some Datuk or ancient Malay warrior, will you cherish the task of naming it?

Questions I'd like to ask myself:

Am I dreaming?

Dee bait

2008-04-09T01:41:00.007+08:00

"The eduction system is producing mechanical idiots." Which is easier. To be on the proposing side, or the opposing side?

Instinctively, I think it's easier to propose. My school's debate team got the government side in the semi finals. And lost.

I chatted with the teacher who was in charge of the debates. No wonder we lost. This is an excerpt of our conversation.

"Mana boleh minta government untuk support topik ini? Topik itu tak betul. Kita mana boleh cakap sistem itu yang menghasilkan pelajar yang mekanikal?"

"As the government, you're supposed to support the motion," I replied.

"Yalah... Tetapi, mana boleh kata sistem yang salah. Kita tak boleh kata dasar kita yang silap."

"I don't see why not. In the spirit of debates, it's not a matter of yang mana betul or yang mana silap. If you're given a motion, and you're the government, you support the motion! Kalau nak cakap betul atau salah, then we don't have to debate already!"

The conversation continued...

"Saya sudah buat dengan pelajar. Sebenarnya, kalau opposition, lagi banyak point. Mereka takut buat government. Sebab lagi susah. Tapi mereka dapat government..."

So, what were the government's points, I wondered.

"Sebab guru dikongkong daripada memberi peluang kepada pelajar-pelajar untuk membuat soalan secara analitikal dan kritikal. Kerana guru-guru mesti habiskan semua syllabus..."

"Sebab ibu bapa pelajar yang mementingkan 'A' sahaja. Jadi mereka tak kisah sama ada pelajar itu analitikal atau tidak..."

"Sebab pelajar itu sendiri tak mahu buat kerja yang susah..."

Well. If teachers are hindered from encouraging their students to think analytically and critically for the sake of completing the syllabus, doesn't that boil down to a systemic flaw in the education system?

If parents are more concerned about A's than the child's personal development, isn't that because the nature of scholarships rests only on the number of A's a student gets? Doesn't that still boil down to a systemic flaw?

Hmmm. So students don't like to do analytical work. It's their fault. Nothing to do with the system. We wash out our hands clean. It's entirely their fault. Or is it?

The motion itself specifies the education system is producing mechanical idiots. But the system itself is excluded from the government side's arguments. The government - who has every opportunity to define the motion, set its parameters, and capitalize on their own case - refuses to talk about systemic flaws in Malaysian education. How brilliant is that?

"Kita tak boleh agree dengan motion itu. Sebab kalau benar-benar sistem kita tak baik... What are we doing here? Sebab kita sendiri adalah hasil system itu..."

My goodness. I rest my case.

Consider the irony. An English teacher, talking to me about an English debate in BM, and expounding the points in BM.

As it got hotter, I decided it's not worth it. The battlefield is at the debate round, not during an informal post-mortem chat with a colleague.

I shudder to think what her points as opposition were. "Tentulah, you tengok... Bilangan pelajar mendapat berbelas-belas 'A' meningkat..."

I mean... The onus lies on the opposition to prove that the status quo is not producing mechanical idiots, doesn't it? How are they going to do that? Was that kind of challenge thrown to the opposition? How would you throw that kind of challenge, if you don't want to talk about the system in the first place?

If the government side defines the motion properly and sets the parameters strategically, the opposition will be in deep trouble. Obviously, that did not happen.

I remember a member of the debate team telling me before the debate round that he feels it's harder to do the opposition side. But strangely, the teacher said the opposite thing.

I'm wondering if the teacher force-feeds the debaters with her own points, and makes them use her points. I wonder if she's the type that will feel offended if they use their own points instead of hers.

It's shocking. A fellow debate senior during my varsity days, Prita, told me that it's impossible to train teachers to debate. Once, she was drafted in to help "train" some teachers who were involved in a inter-daerah teachers' debate kind of thing. Motions were centered on issues pertaining to education. She said she really cannot tahan. Now I understand the feeling.

How do you train people to debate, if they refuse to analyse a topic that is not in favour of their personal opinions? You got to step out from that box, look at it from a bird's eye point of view, and dissect the issue objectively as though you are not part of it. You can't contain yourself as part of the issue if you seriously want to debate.

If you can't do that, then whoever gets the government side wins. The opposition is just a formality. What is there to argue about if you have to be gagged?

On the motion about truancy. The teachers said, "Oh, no... We cannot say teachers are not doing their job... We are teachers! Of course we cannot say that... "

My gosh. *slaps forehead*

So Prita has to come out with all kinds of other inferior and weaker points for them, because all her strong points "cannot be mentioned". Because "it's not right to say that". Imagine how "hot" it feels like to be in that position.

Let's all go home now. Why are we even debating about it? Case closed.

Debating. Truly, it is a tiring activity.

Imagine how much more tiring it is to debate about debating.

Photo journalist on the prowl

2008-04-02T22:31:00.023+08:00

Hari Anugerah Cemerlang & PIBG AGM day. It was a fine morning. The birds were singing. The flowers were blooming...

Look! Look! What do we have here! Cikgu makan di luar!

Caught in the act. Clockwise, from top left: Shah Lail, school counsellor. Azuan, sports exec, afternoon session. Jasmin, discipline master. Noor Kamal, formerly Kasturi tuition center's full-time teacher. Can see nose only, Radzi. Afternoon teacher, retiring soon, reminds you of a bear. Balding spot from behind, Mirashab. English teacher, afternoon session.

All the "top" fellows in one table.

Ooh, look... The male teachers are not alone!

Hor! Cikgu-cikgu semua makan! Siap hang. Masuk camera.

You wanna know where this makan shop is located?

It's directly opposite the school's side gate! Newly opened. Now we know where the students will hang out. Before, during or after school.

Nah, you see...

Caught in the act.

Sapade... Makan, jangan tak makan...

"Sir, bagi satu ringgit? Saya belum makan... Lapar..."

"You mahu satu ringgit? Mari... Ambil gambar dulu."

"Tak mau lah sir..."

"Ambil gambar dulu la... Lepas itu, saya bagi satu ringgit."

What was he doing at school on that day anyway? I used to teach him last year in 2 Kripton. I'm sure he's not there for the awards...

Oh... No wonder la...

Hard at work...

The finished product...

Gehenna...

Gehenna is a Hebrew word. Literally translated as "dung heap". That's where we get our word "hell" from. Where "the worm does not die."

Oh, VIP come already!

Did he see our gehenna? Dunno.

Anyway, that is Bee Ann's Dato' Subahan Kamal. ADUN Taman Templer. He won his seat. So much for not involving politicians in schools.

YDP PIBG: Mungkin itu ditujukan kepada parti pembangkang saja kut... Tapi sekarang, nak kata pembangkang, pun tak boleh. Sebab pembangkang ialah kerajaan. Kerajaan ialah pembangkang!

Saya ingat kalau Bee Ann, boleh kut...

It's all for the money anyway. The letter was already written, to get RM10k. He was there just to sign it.

Bee Ann plant in PIBG: Kalau tak nak datang, tak ape... Bagi check saja. Kita terus terang...

Yes, we're very fascinated with the angkasawan. It will truly be a waste of funds if it fails to capture our imagination. Let's do our part. Let's put it on a mural.

Here's the Pengetua...

She has one year left before retirement.

Here's the YDP PIBG...

Retained in his post for another year. He was retained in his post last year when I first came in. Dunno how many years he was retained in his post, or since when.

And of course, no majlis is complete... Without the makan.

Here's the promised picture for March. With proper hair.

It's goodbye to the PIBG post for me! I will certainly miss... The makan.

I wish it could've been better. But when you get loaded with 7 jobs in school...

Let's drink!

Life 30 years from now

2008-03-18T20:11:00.006+08:00

I asked a few graduating USMers this question: "So, what are your plans now?"

A says she's headed for Singapore. Quantity surveyor. She says she has to start working somehow. I say yeah, you can't expect to land an ideal job as your first job. Pragmatic. Good.

I realized that language students are usually put on a spot. It's hard to decide what you want to do if you have linguistics under your belt.

For example, B's plan is to marry a millionaire who is 98 years old.

C says, he's not sure. Maybe he's gonna continue with Masters.

2 more guys from an older generation, D and E, did the same thing. They continued with Masters.

Hmmm... Maybe it's the nature of employment in our country. Jobs don't come by easy for linguists. And it's not easy to decide what you want to do with a language degree. Yes, the options may be really wide. But you got to get creative with your options to come up with a job you'll be happy with.

Compared to language students, I think tech graduates, finance graduates and communication-based graduates have it easy. You more or less know what you're being shaped out for from the very start. After you've got your paper qualification, you can pull out a hit list and start going through them one by one.

It may not be true for everyone. But I guess generally, it is.

There are also those who did not graduate with an education degree, but they want to go into teaching. Well, F and G... Here's my advice to you. Real advice.

Number 1. Make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. Schools vary from place to place. You may have grown up in a good school. You may have even taught temporarily in many schools, but all in the same vicinity. Based on that, you may think that all schools are generally the same. You may start to believe that it ain't so bad to be a teacher.

Many people have fallen prey to that line of reasoning. They start to regret by the time they start practical training. They say they never knew students (or schools) can be that bad.

Number 2. Make sure you have what it takes to stay in there. A majority of mental patients in psychiatric wards consist of school teachers. I can't quote you the stats. But it's true. I've read about it a few times already at several places.

Here's why. You walk into classes of 35+ students each. You have to face 3 or 4 such populations each day. That makes an average of 123 "clients" a day.

You must remember that you don't get commission for each "client" you meet. There's no motivation for taking more "clients".

You can't meet them one by one. You have to meet all of them at once.

You cannot turn down your "clients". You don't have the privilege of choosing to make do with less "clients". You must take them all.

Your "clients" may not like you. You have to see them. Your "clients" have no interest in your product. You have to see them. Your "clients" may give you trouble. And you have to see them. Your "clients" may mock you or irritate you or publicly defy you. And you still have to see them.

You can't deal harshly with your "clients". If you go one inch too far, you'll get into trouble. If your "client" comes from a rich background, you'll have a lawsuit coming after you. If your "client" comes from a poor background, you'll have vandals coming after your property.

Do you have what it takes to face your "clients" and be indiscriminate about them, every working day?

Number 3. Make sure you can face yourself. You will feel that you are getting older, but you are not getting any smarter. Your intellect is limited to the sphere of a 17-year old kid.

No matter how good you are (or think you are) in your job, you may feel that what you do doesn't matter to anyone anyway.

You know that's not true. But your feelings will tell you otherwise. Be ready to feel constantly unappreciated and undervalued.

Number 4. Make sure you can live that way for the next 30 years. Can you live by the bell?

No flexibility here. You wake up like the schoolboy. You go to work like the schoolboy. You have your breaks like the schoolboy. You have to wear proper attire like a schoolboy. You have to do the same things over and over again. Like a schoolboy.

Number 5. Make sure you can be steadfast. If not, turn back while you still can.

What is the initial reason that inspired you to take this road? Freeze that memory in your mind. Because doe-eyed moments don't come every day.

There will be good days. There will be bad days. But you must stay the same. Because you are the cikgu. Like it or not, people still come to you for answers. You must not, cannot, and should not, betray them. No matter how much you may not like them.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anyway, of all the people I asked, this guy's answer is the most interesting...

H is one of those Math guys. Or is it Physics. And he says he wants to be...

A piano tuner.

He wants to travel around Malaysia, tuning pianos.

Here's to you, piano man...

Listen to the isi tersirat. It's hokey.

Nah, you see...

2008-03-14T12:06:00.004+08:00

I wasn't talking nonsense...

Chinese taxi driver robbed by a parang-wielding Indian man. That was on Tuesday, 11th March, 1:30 pm. The robbers were picked up by the taxi man at Taman Wahyu, Selayang. For full story, click here.

On the same day, at 9:00 pm, another case of taxi robbers. This time, involving three men. The police spotted them at Sungai Mas, Jalan Ipoh. Very close to Selayang.

The police also recovered another taxi that was stolen by the same trio. The taxi was found at the Selayang wholesale market. For full story, click here.

Spot the similarities in all 3 cases. All of them involved taxis. And all of them happened in, or very near, Selayang. Selayangku sayang.

Every single colleague of mine has a thief/robber-personal-encounter-story to tell. I wonder when my turn will come.

* * * * * * * * * *

Anyway, here's a sight worth mentioning...

A Chinese girl's car got stalled at USM's Yeap Chor Ee entrance. Two young Malay guys, complete with songkok and kain sarong, got down from their motorbike to help.

That's something I'm sure everyone would like to see more.

Spiritual unity, racial unity

2008-03-12T13:20:00.004+08:00

My first assignment as a church retreat speaker ended on Monday. Theme was on "Unity in Christ".

Unity... Ironically, it's one of the trickiest things to deal with among Christians. But I'm glad how things went, message-wise. I think it was something the young people really needed to hear. I thank God for the privilege of putting me in the correct position in the right time. Glory be to Him!

With that over with, I have the luxury of time to fully immerse myself in DAP island.

Unity has been, still is, and will always be something very tricky to deal with. In the spiritual sense, and also in the racial sense.

When I first heard the election results for Penang, I was still at church. There were rumours of riots going to break out. I had a paranoid feeling as I drove home. It was a scary moment. The streets of Penang have never been so deserted!

I fell asleep in the hall sofa, in front of the TV, with a calculator in hand, watching the opposition deny the government a two-third majority inch by inch. Or rather, decimal point by decimal point.

All eyes will be on Penang now. Penang will be a model of how Rocketland will look like. A blogger will be running it! Blogger sakti!

Penangites are dangerous people. They are sensitive, unpredictable and decisive. They may love you one day. They may dump you the next. And during the silence in between, you will not know what will hit you... Until it hits you!

Don't believe? You don't have to ask Koh Tsu Khoon. Just ask the koay teow man.

When the koay teow man does something wrong, you just wait and see. It does not even have to be something wrong. Maybe it's just something that is not preferable. Half the state will boycott the stall within a week.

Oh well. I don't know if it's warranted to feel this way. But I do feel safer in Penang. I feel very, very much less likely to be robbed on the streets. I can stroll Gurney Drive on foot late at night, and feel as though nothing will or can happen to me.

Is it because of the majority-minority mentality? You feel safer when you are a majority. You feel insecure when you are a minority. Deep inside, you feel that every thief or robber won't rob their own kind. The minority is less likely to rob the majority because he is less likely to make it. You feel that the hidden racist inside every man works in your favour.

Racial polarization is bad. I'm not justifying it. But I can't deny that it happens.

The Malay taxi man in Batu Caves says he won't pick up Indian passengers when it is late at night. He says they will rob him. He's been robbed by Indian passengers a few times already. His hard-earned money for the whole day goes down the drain in exchange for his life.

The Malay robber who robbed a cyber cafe near my school lines up his victims in two rows. Malays are lined up in one row. Non-Malays are lined up in another row. All the non-Malays are emptied of their pockets.

The Chinese man who works in a private college systematically decreases scholarship allocations to bumiputeras. He turns Malay inquirers away whenever he has a chance. He says it is a righteous thing to do. He sees it as his mandate to champion the cause of the Chinese. He feels that if he doesn't do it, who will?

I've had bad personal experiences too. The mother of a tuition student who won't pay up fees. She says one thing but I know she means another. One night, the boy and his friends happened to turn up at a mamak stall where I was eating dinner. He acted as though he never knew me.

There's a hidden racist in all of us. We try to suppress it. We try to change. It is ideal to be colour blind. Sometimes, we believe that we are. But, being human, the situation is not made any easier when we are hit by bad encounters of our own. Just when the wounds are healing, you get a gash in the same spot that makes it worse.

So, how do we solve the problem? Let everyone become Christians. (Now I'm being a spiritual racist :P)

We can each do our part. We can't solve it. But we can help by not aggravating it.

Treat your neighbour well, especially those of a different colour. Hope that he will remember it. And that one day, he will do the same to others.

Give him not a reason to harbour racial bitterness. If a small boy carries his bitterness into adulthood, he may do exactly what we don't want him to do when he has the capacity to do great things. We may never know who that small boy is.

When we are hit right in the center of an old wound... Pray that we will be able to turn the other cheek. A scar in both cheeks may look like dimples.

Where's Wally

2008-03-05T22:57:00.005+08:00

"Ustad, you mau tengok awek saya?"

"Mana?"

"You cari tengok. You teka yang mana satu."

The Star, 5th March, Star Two, page 3.

"Yang ini kah..."

"Bukan lah... You tengok lagi."

"Mana ada Cina lagi..."

"Ada lah... You tengok baik baik..."

"Oooh... Yang ini?"

Finally.

Well, there are 3 people in the picture. If you still can't get it right... *shakes head*

I asked another colleague.

"Raman, my girlfriend is in the papers!"

"Really ah? Where?"

"Nah, you see... Guess which one."

Same thing happened.

Now anyone can invest in oil

2008-03-04T15:41:00.009+08:00

Investment advice from a guru... Real wan... (guru sekolah)

If you are a normal wage earner, you don't have a lump sum of cash on your lap, and you don't play shares... You may find this investment advice useful.

Number one. Invest in fixed deposits.

Put RM1k (minimum deposit) into any bank's fixed deposit. The interest rate is at 3.70% per annum. Put it in a 12-month tenure. Your 3.70% will come at exactly one year later.

Repeat this every month for 12 months. At exactly 1 year from now...

You will have 12 fixed deposit certificates, one for each month.
You will enjoy 3.70% (RM37) of interest every month.
You have the flexibility of taking out RM1k worth of fixed deposit every month.

It's better than dumping in RM12k into fixed deposits in one lump sum. You don't have a lump sum of RM12k anyway. If you're a normal wage earner, it won't happen. At least, not too early in your working life.

Staggering it over 12 months will be more strategic because...

You get to liquidate your fixed deposit during a rainy day in any month. Assets that cannot be easily liquidated is almost the same as not having them at all.
You don't have to forfeit your 3.70% interest if you liquidate your fixed deposit before maturity. Sometimes, you don't need RM12k. It will be a waste to liquidate RM12k if you only needed RM1k.
You can't withdraw RM12k in one go. It helps you to not be spendrift.

Number two, invest in oil.

No oil mine in your back yard? Never mind.

Go here.

Pump RM30. Take the receipt. Staple it on the contest form. Drop it in the box. Then, wait for the magic.

If you're lucky, you may get RM25k. That's equivalent to an interest rate of 83,333% per week!
If you're not so lucky, you may get RM1k! That's an interest of 3,333% per week.

Beats any fixed deposit or unit trust. Even the stock market can't come close! Hehehe...

The Shell contest period just ended on 2nd March.

Never mind. If no Shell...

Go here.

Pump RM20. Swipe your Mesra card. This one's easier. No need to fill in form. Just wait for the magic.

If you are lucky, you will win a brand new car! That's like dunno how many percent already! *faint*
If you're not so lucky, you may still win RM1k.

In a nutshell, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Diversify, diversify, diversify. And think outside the box! :)

How many ways you can get a handphone

2008-03-04T15:18:00.003+08:00

1.Traditional method. Sally forth to the mall. Use the "thick skin, old clothes" maneuver.

2. Play doctor. Ask your friends if they have unwanted or spare handphones that are not too old or terminally ill. They may not want to repair it. But it may be worthwhile to you if the handphone is a fancy one, its market price is way above your budget, but the repair costs the same as a brand new "cheapest off the shelf" handphone.

3. Bank method. Put RM6k into AmBank for 2 years. The interest rate is at 8.9+ per annum. And you get a new Sony Ericson, Cybershot, 2 megapixel camera phone worth more than RM800. Free gift.

4. Celcom method. Bring a friend who uses a Celcom line to a Celcom store. You get to buy a handphone at a significant discount. If I'm not mistaken, my handphone can be bought at RM118.

5. Get a boyfriend.

Which option is the best?

Where moths don't destroy and thieves don't bother

2008-03-03T17:24:00.004+08:00

My phone's screen went blank again. This time, it is really dead. Brain dead. Microchip dead. LCD dead. Whatever you call it. Cannot be resuscitated anymore.

I went to Digital Mall and got this.

Nokia 1200.

How did I arrive at making this purchase?

Very simple.

Wear shorts, slippers and and a t-shirt. Enter the mall. Locate handphone shop. Ask, "How much is your cheapest Nokia handphone?" Repeat question at every shop. Skin must be thick, clothes must be old.

Seems that when it comes to shopping, my theory is correct. The nearer the shop is to the ground floor, the more expensive it is.

It's the mall's strategy. Shops on lower floors have more customer traffic. You want more customer traffic? You pay higher rent. Hence, you hike up your products' prices too.

Here's the proof. The lower floors are selling the Nokia 1200 at RM150. The highest floor with handphones sells it at RM129.

Here's a tip. If you want a price slash, say you're paying by cash. Then, ask how much discount they can give. It works most of the time.

For the less informed on why paying by cash is sometimes more advantageous...

If you pay my credit card, three parties are involved in the transaction: You, the shop owner, and the credit card company. If the product costs RM100, the shop owner must pay the credit card company a small percentage from that RM100. That's how the credit card company gets its cut.

It's no gain for the shop owner, no gain for you. It's all good for the credit card company.

If you pay by cash, only two parties are involved in the transaction: The shop owner and you. The shop owner may be willing to settle for less if he deals directly with you. The "discount" he gives to you is actually the credit card company's cut. Instead of giving the small percentage from RM100 to the credit card company (if you pay by credit card), he marks down the price for you.

It's still no gain for the shop owner. But it's gain for you! And the shop owner still wants to make the sale anyway.

I got the phone and a hard handphone cover for RM130.

So, be wise. Jadilah pengguna yang kiam siap. I mean, bijak.

Or maybe it's just a Penang kia syndrome :)

Clean, fair, and non-presumptious

2008-03-01T17:41:00.005+08:00

4th March. Taman Templer's "bakal wakil rakyat", Dato' Subahan Kamal from Bee Ann, will be coming to my neighbouring school. There will be a ceremony there to give away "sijil bantuan KPM" the students. No, not the "wang bantuan KPM". Just the certs.

The students who are supposed to receive the monetary aid are already qualified for the monetary aid. The ceremony will be held so that Bee Ann's Dato' Subahan Kamal can be there to give away the certs. To signify that the students will be getting the monetary aid.

This is a very important. Because, if you don't give certs to students that are supposed to get the monetary aid, they may not actually know that they will be getting the money. So, it's good to spend just a little more money to create certs and to hold a lavish ceremony. Or else, people may not know. Or worse still, they may forget.

5th March. High tea at my school. Bee Ann's candidates, teachers, parents and teachers are invited to attend. It is not appropriate for the school to host anything politically motivated. But it's ok if we do it under the PIBG's banner. Because, you see, the PIBG and the school are two separate entities.

The price is set at RM10 per head. Who's going to pay for the high tea? Not the school. Not the PIBG. The PIBG endorses it. Bee Ann pays.

When all the Bee Ann candidates come and see the condition of the school, it is with this hope that they will pour in tens of thousands worth of funds for upgrading purposes.

29th March. My school's PIBG AGM. Bee Ann's "bakal wakil rakyat" should be "wakil rakyat" by now. He will officiate the AGM.

22nd March. There will be a special PIBG meeting one week before the PIBG AGM to finalize AGM plans. I wonder if Bee Ann's "bakal wakil rakyat" will still officiate the AGM if things don't work out as planned. But it probably won't happen. Because he is already invited.

A colleague, En. A, comes to school and distributes Bee Ann's pens and Bee Ann's t-shirts. It is ok for a government servant to be active in politics on the bureau level. As long as you give the Headmaster a letter to inform her about it. En. A is often found sleeping in the staffroom during this exciting period.

I heard that Bee Ann is pouring in 20 million into election campaigns. It is indeed a very fair move, because every tax-payer's money will be used to help people make better choices. Every tax-payer will benefit from this indiscriminately. Regardless of race, religion, or political inclination.

"Wah, banyaknya funding untuk buat semua ini?"

"Of course. We are the government," Said En. A.

Upon the dissolution of the parliament, the Prime Minister is still called the Prime Minister. The Deputy Prime Minister is still called the Deputy Prime Minister. It seems that all ministers are still retaining their titles although the parliament is no longer ruling.

It will be confusing for the rakyat if the ministers shed their titles, only to take them up again after 13 days, isn't it? Imagine how it feels like if you suddenly don't have a PM or a DPM. The rakyat should not be left to feel abandoned during these 13 days. Bee Ann has always been there, and will always be there for them.

Is is true that many people are still quite ignorant about politics. That's why the rakyat should be educated about it. Starting in schools.

There is no conflict

2008-02-29T19:23:00.006+08:00

My handphone is now running the final lap of its last mile. The screen's image is gone. Can't receive calls sometimes. No more alarm clock in the mornings.

Time to get a new phone. But the question is... What kind of phone?

Have been secretly eyeing a camera phone. Imagine the novelty of:

Having a camera device in your pocket.
Getting to snap a picture whenever "the moment" comes. You can't possibly carry a real camera with you all the time, rite?
Getting to post more pictures on my blog.
Getting to snap a picture when the separuh iblis are up to mischief, and show it to the Rotan Man.
Not having to remember the exact spot where your car is parked anymore.

But that novelty will also mean...

Splashing more than half a grand on a camera phone. If you want to get a camera phone, may as well get a good camera phone, rite? No point buying the cheapest camera phone off the shelf if the picture quality is so bad, you don't even want to look at it or use it.
Risking it getting stolen. More people will be eyeing your handphone now.
Risking it getting spoiled. Drop it, and it's gone.

If I stick to my prinsip hidup and get the most basic handphone for what it's fundamentally supposed to be for...

I won't have to splash half of half a grand on it. A little over a hundred bucks will do.
No fear of thieves. They may as well steal my students' handphones. Don't bother with mine.
No fear of spoilage. If it drops, explodes and scatters... Just pick up the pieces and fix them back. No pain.

Many people who used to share the same prinsip hidup as I... Has strayed away... To the dark side... And bought camera phones... Ha ha ha ha! Meowlisa... Li Ean... Thou art apostates...

Still, it's very tempting. Imagine rite... Camera phone... You can actually see the face of the person calling you... It's not really that expensive what... I mean... I deserve it, don't I? I have always been thrifty and responsible... I do earn my own keep now... There's nothing wrong about it, rite... It's not like I'm gonna buy the most expensive phone on the planet... Just a simple camera phone... Not too teruk, but not too canggih... I'm sure it should be ok mah... But then again...

Oh, LOOK!! The screen is back!!

Yay. End of dilemma. End of conflict.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. But Nokia is faithful. It will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, it will also provide a way out and make the screen come back on it." (1 Nokiatians 10:13)

What do you do...

2008-02-27T00:44:00.002+08:00

...when your girlfriend hilang until election day?

You cook.

Warning... Super boring post ahead...

Do you know what is the cheapest, 1L milk in the market? Marigold UHT milk. It's a record. Only RM3.19!

Do you know that for RM3.99, you can make an asparagus dish for three times? How much is one asparagus dish outside? And how many strands of asparagus do you get in it?

Do you know that Al-Fatimah cili giling (the type of chilli paste you buy in a small plastic container) is not spicy? It just looks red.

Do you know that the red jambu (the type that you buy along the highway's resthouses, where all the auntie suddenly come out and say "leng chai leng chai") costs only RM3.98 for 6 of them? And to think you pay RM2 at those resthouses for only, I think... 1.5 of them?

Do you know that any cooked chicken (the type that they display on the counter, half bird or whole bird) in Giant is dead chicken? I mean... It's like corpse meat. You put it in the fridge, after a few days, you can smell dead chicken.

Do you know that Jasmine rice is the best rice to buy? It's the second cheapest one. Don't buy the cheapest one. That one, it will take you longer to wash the rice. You must do at least 5 washes to get rid of the murkiness. Jasmine, good. Jalaludin Hassan say wan. Must be good la.

Do you know that a Jusco card must be renewed every year at RM12? It's actually worth it. Because you get 5% discounts on J-card days, and you get free parking.

Do you know why women (generally, not all of them) are good at multi-tasking? Because you must be good at multi-tasking in the kitchen. Or else, it will take you a short eternity to prepare a meal.

You must plan ahead. What do you need? Make sure everything you need is chopped, sliced, diced, and put near the stove before you start. Make sure all your equipment are in order too. You don't want to go scrambling for your kicap or your corn starch when your food is over the fire.

You must think strategically. If you do all the fast things first, then you must wait like a dongkoi for the slow things to cook. Then your fast things will turn cold.

If you do all the slow things first, then you don't have to wait for your fast things to cook. You save time, and you get to enjoy a warm meal.

Do the rice first (it takes the longest to cook). Then, heat up whatever meat you want to heat up in the microwave (you can leave whatever's inside in the microwave. It won't get cold). After that, you do the vegetables. Then, you boil the soup. While you're waiting for the soup, cut the fruits.

If you got it timed just right, you will hear the microwave "ting" first, then the rice cooker "click", then the soup sizzling last. Turn off the gas, scoop out the rice, then take out the meat from the microwave. Perfection! Timing is everything.

On a good day, it takes no longer than 15 minutes flat.

If the election campaigning period takes 30 days, imagine what a "see lai" I will become.

1 year anniversary

2008-02-24T19:58:00.004+08:00

It was my 1st year anniversary 3 days ago.

1st year anniversary as an "official" teacher in a public school.

Reflections for the past one year...

How do you feel after 1 year of teaching?

I feel like... I keep forgetting that I am a grown up. When you have to keep going to school every day, sometimes it makes you forget that you are an adult.

You'll still think about, "Should I cut class at 10:45 am?"

You still ask yourself, "Can I not go to school today?"

You still wonder, "Hmmm, what should I have in the canteen afterwards..."

It's like high school never ends!

What do you like about teaching life?

Well... You get to be king most of the time.

You get to think about what you want to do after school. And zoom off to do it as soon as the bell rings!

What do you dislike about teaching life?

Having to go to the bottom classes after 10:45 pm. That's when the monkeys have had their glucose boost.

What do you fear most about teaching life?

That I will get bored of it one day. I think I am getting bored about it already! I'm getting bored of Math... *gasp!*

What is your biggest achievement so far?

I think I've come up with a really good way to explain intersection and union. You remember the topic about Sets, where you see the (A ∩ B) and (A U B) stuff?

The "∩" in (A ∩ B) means gunshot.

Imagine you had a gun with only one bullet. The bullet can penetrate anything. Where do you shoot so that A and B will get hit in one shot?

The "U" in (A U B) means bombshell.

Imagine you have a bomb. You want to blow up A and B. You just blacken off A and B. The whole thing. No need to think so much. Just blacken the whole thing. A and B. That's right.

It works every time.

How would you describe the pinnacle of your career?

Hmmm...

After doing some soul searching...

I can't believe it...

I realized...

My childhood dream is still there!

I still want to be...

Headmaster of Penang Free School.

The SOS (save our school) syndrome is still there. Hidden inside of me.

Maybe I'm still naive enough to believe that it is possible by merit alone.

Or, maybe it's true... That I haven't really grown up :)

I will follow you... follow you...

2008-02-23T19:49:00.010+08:00

When you've got a big windfall, and you know you can't keep it with you forever, what do you do with it?

You send it on ahead to a place where you can keep it.

Where is that place?

That place is not here. You store it in heaven.

How do you store it in heaven?

By giving it away on earth.

Doesn't that sound silly or radical? Or isn't that just plain stupid?

But that is exactly what Jesus taught.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal" (Matthew 7:19)

Even if we stop hoarding treasures on earth and start stockpiling treasures in heaven, aren't we still stuck with the mentality of accumulating things? The problem of obsession with treasure isn't really dealt with. We did not vanquish the obsession itself. We merely transferred its destination. Isn't it selfish to be thinking about treasures in heaven all the time?

Nope. Jesus Himself said, "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." (Matthew 6:20)

Note that He said, "Lay up for yourselves." Not "Lay up for someone else," or even "Lay up for God". Selfishness is gain at the expense of someone else. Laying up treasures in heaven comes at nobody's expense. In fact, it comes at everybody else's gain.

Won't this attitude make me bitter towards God? How can I find pleasure in Him and His kingdom, if I have to give my treasures away, instead of keep them?

Nope. Jesus goes on to say, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:21). In whichever place you put your money, your heart will follow it. Your interest will go there, and you will find pleasure there too. The pleasure is not lost. Why do you think you check the stock market everyday if your money is in stocks?

Test Him on this. Put your money in Saudi Arabia.

See if you will still remain disinterested about Saudi Arabia. You will scramble for every piece of news to update yourself about Saudi Arabia. The next time a Christian is martyred in Saudi Arabia, or the next time a Christian meeting place is burnt there, see if your heart won't get wrenched over it.

If your money is in Saudi Arabia, you will want to know how your investment is doing in Saudi Arabia. You will want to know if your money is reaching the target group effectively in Saudi Arabia. You will want to know if you have been wise in giving to Saudi Arabia. You will want to know everything about the advancement of your Ringgit in helping God's people in Saudi Arabia.

You will find yourself praying for Saudi Arabia. You will find yourself worrying about Saudi Arabia. You will find yourself worked up about Saudi Arabia. You will smile or you will cry over Saudi Arabia. Your mind will be constantly preoccupied with Saudi Arabia.

You won't feel much about Saudi Arabia if you have not given much to Saudi Arabia. If you put a chunk of your treasure there... There your heart will be also.

I believe that the Lord is leading me to give to Barnabas Aid on a frequent basis. Being placed in an area that is predominantly Muslim, I believe God has been trying to tell me something.

He is showing me things that I would not have seen if I was placed elsewhere. My exposure to a predominantly Muslim society have increased my understanding of Islam. And along with it, my sensitivity towards the plight of suffering Christians.

1 in every 10 Christians live with persecution. No, it's not the "My mum won't let me go to church" type of persecution. It's the kind of persecution that violates basic human rights. It is a matter of life or death.

If you are reading this, you are the other nine.

Do you want to start stockpiling in the right place?

http://www.barnabasfund.org/theothernine/

Operasi running

2008-02-20T15:01:00.009+08:00

Have you ever toyed with the idea of running for the elections? Let's see if you can. Say, if you want to run as an independent candidate...

If you're an independent, you must have the dough for the deposits.

RM15k, at least. Can just do a bank loan. No problem...

You must be over 21 and of sound mind, not an un-discharged bankrupt, and not have been convicted of an offence by court and jailed for more than a year or fined more than RM2,000 and have not received a free pardon (invalid after five years).

Age? Checked. Sound mind? Checked. Bankrupt before? Close, but not yet. Convicted in court, jailed, or fined more than RM2,000? My parking summons don't amount up to that much. Ok so far...

A person who is a citizen of a country outside Malaysia, and a person convicted of offences in connection with the elections is not eligible.

Malaysian? Checked. Did anything wrong during elections? Nope...

You need a proposer and a seconder; they must reside in the constituency where you are contesting.

Easy only. Just call Ah Goo, Ah Kau...

Next, you have to obtain the nomination forms from the EC...

Isi borang! I like...

... All filled out in triplicate.

Lagi, I like!

If you’re an independent, you get to pick your symbol from a list of 20 approved ones. Sorry, you can’t come up with your own symbol.

Very ugly lah, the approved symbols. Never mind. Still can...

You can appoint an election agent (one), canvassers (more than one); polling agents (who will help observe whether voting goes according to the rules on polling day at each polling station); and counting agents (who must verify the votes cast for spoilt ones) at the counting centres.

Can. Just call Ah Hor, Ah Ngiaow, Ah Beh, Ah Chiao, Ah Kay, Ah Ark, Ah Too, Ah Eow, Ah Hair, Ah Hoo, Thor Sat, Lay Hoo...

If you are planning on campaigning, then come up with some manifestos or issues that make up your platform.

No problem. Can start writing right away...

Anyone in the public service sector – namely, civil service, armed forces, police, judicial and legal service, railway service and the education service – is disqualified.

Liao... Cannot already.

*Sigh*

The biggest forfeit

2008-02-18T22:13:00.010+08:00

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2:14-17)

It is shocking for me to discover how many Christian votes will be going down the gutter.

Here is the thing. When Christians don't vote in the upcoming elections, we are forfeiting more than our right as a citizen of Malaysia. We are forfeiting our right as a child of God to pray for Malaysia for the next 5 years.

We say, "I wish you well, Malaysia. Be a better place to live in." We are liars if we say that we care, and yet we don't vote. The Bible says such faith is dead. It will be better if we said "I don't care at all." At least, we won't be lying.

We should not have "Light Up Our Nation" campaigns anymore. We should cease having all-night prayer meetings to ask God for revival in our country. Our prayers for the Malaysia will not be heard for the next 5 years. Because God knows we are lying.

Picture this. Many young adults either have not registered, or are not going to vote. That leaves the "old voters" to do the voting, while the young ones remain silent.

"Old voters" are already set in their political inclinations. They probably won't change their vote.

So if young voters stay away, and "old voters" continue to vote... Mathematically speaking, should we expect any change in the result? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.

Some say "It doesn't matter whether or not I vote. The voting system is flawed. We only have a perceived democracy. But actually, it isn't".

If it is true that there are phantom voters, the only way to beat phantom voters is by sheer volume. How are you an answer to that?

If it is true that we don't have real democracy, then we have to change perceived democracy into real democracy. How are you an answer to that?

Some say, "I will vote when the government is not anti-Chinese."

If that is true, show me the logic of how your silence going to make the government less racial. How are you an answer to that?

Some say, "The government is corrupt. I will not vote."

If that is true, how much less injustice must there be before it is the right time to vote? (I feel really weird trying to reason this way, for this argument and also the previous one) Spare me the logic of how the government can get less corrupt when we don't cast our vote. How are you an answer to that?

Some even have the audacity to give a holy answer. "I don't intend to vote. But I will pray. Because I believe God's plan will be revealed."

Ok. Something is fundamentally wrong here. God is sovereign, right? There is nothing we can do to change God's will on the election results, right? God is in control of what will happen to Malaysia for the next 5 years, right? So, why vote.

Along the same line of reasoning... If God is all powerful, and He already knows all things, even of our needs before we ask Him... Then, why pray at all.

We say we believe that God is sovereign over all things. Including our lives. But we do not submit to Him in prayer. We believe He is God, yet we don't treat Him as God. That is the irony.

James says, such faith is dead. We may as well have no faith at all. It will be no different.

Ask anyone of any religion. Anyone who believes in any god will tell you that the one thing you must do for that god is to pray to it.

But Christians know better. Christians say we don't have to pray.

Ask anyone who does not believe in any god. Especially the ones who think that they are gods. They will tell you that the future is in their hands. They can make things happen if they want them to happen. They hold their destiny in their own hands.

But Christians know better. Christians say we don't have to do anything, and yet things will happen.

If this is the popular view of Christians, I am ashamed to be identified as one of them.

Every single thing we do, or don't do, has an eternal impact on eternity. When we face Christ one day, He will ask us what we think of the country He put us in.

We will go on and on about how bad it is, if that is how we really feel. Time will not be a problem. We have all eternity.

The next question He will ask is, "What did you do about Malaysia."

No need to explain why evading taxes was better than giving money to the wrong hands. No need to justify about why it was ok to accumulate as much wealth as we could from the soil which we believe should also belong to us. No need to explain about how our righteous anger was justifiable when we countered racial injustice blow for blow. Those are the questionable things that He had not asked us to do.

The least we could have done is vote.

Even if we are not that long-sighted to think eternity-wise, let's be a little short-sighted for now. Let's just think about the next 5 years.

Remember God's continual call to remember the fatherless, to defend the widows, and to help the alien, the poor and the weak? Remember what God said about impartiality, be it to Jews or Greeks, slaves or free? Remember justice and equality?

Our inaction to vote makes us guilty of not heeding those calls. We can't pray about those things too, because God knows we are not sincere. At least for the next 5 years.

Note that I did not say "vote for who." All I'm saying is, vote. It is our responsibility. To ourselves, to our nation, to God.

By not voting, we are already doing the wrong thing by default. "To him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin." (James 4:17)

May God have mercy on our nation.

Operasi tak jadi lagi

2008-02-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

Another thing that conspired in my mind during Chinese New Year... Operasi upgrade to Masters.

My maternal uncle told me this during our reunion dinner:

"Tua hoo tiok buey siew tua hai. Ah si loo si say hoo... Siang ka lay hoo, thor sat... boh huat lah, tiok buey siew say hai. Tua hoo eng kai siew tua hai. Ah see eh khee, tiok buey support hor ee khee mah."

Translation:

"Big fish must swim in big sea. If you are small fish, like lay hoo (still can't figure out what that is) or thor sat (catfish), then no choice la, must swim in small sea / river. But big fish should swim in big sea. If can go up, should support until can go up mah."

Coincidentally, a day after, Aiching said she dreamt I was doing an MPA. She asked me if it meant anything to me.

I said it must be Male Pessimist Award. I had no idea what it was.

Then, Mei Yee told me there is actually such a thing as MPA! Masters in Public Administration.

Hmmm... So I started toying with the idea....

In the end, operasi tak jadi again. Why?

Because if I ask my father to support me to get a Masters, I know his logic well enough. He'd ask me to take a loan and pay it off as I work. "It's not much mah. Just a few hundred bucks per month..."

Like I'm so willing to get into another debt. If a Masters degree costs approximately RM8k per year, I'm looking at an RM24k loan over three years. That's equivalent of the car loan that I took from Bank Rakyat. With a Masters degree, I'll be paying off something similar to two car loans every month, and drive only one. Not very smart for a Master's degree holder, is it?

Furthermore, promotions and increments in my vocation do not depend on how many paper qualifications you have. Promotions up the salary scale depend on how many Guru Cemerlang awards you win, and how fast you pass your PTK (Penilaian Tahap Kecekapan) exams. Why would I need an MPA for that?

Even if I set my eyes on switching to an administrative position with an MPA, here's the reality: It's not about what you know. It's about who you know. It's not about merit. It's about colour.

If I aim for advancement with an MPA, I'll get even more frustrated when I don't get it. So, why work myself up for an impending frustration? And later, make myself work harder to pay off a debt for something that did not serve its purpose?

"Why not get a Masters in something else, and switch to the corporate sector?"

The thing is, that is not what I want to do. I want to stay in public schools and be a school teacher. If I can gain advancement, I'd still want to stay in the area of education and make an impact at a different level. My motivation to get a Masters is to go up in the same field, not to get sidetracked into another field.

But if I know for certain that a Masters degree won't propel me in that direction anyway... Why bother.

After all, it's not as though I can comfortably afford to get another piece of paper qualification.

Even if the day comes when I can afford to do a Masters degree, I'll let Mei Yee do it. She's the nerdy one. I only look smart on the outside. But actually ah, bluff wan :)

Cis. Tak jadi lagi...

Operasi tak jadi

2008-02-11T20:20:00.000+08:00

One of the things that conspired in my mind during Chinese New Year... Operasi beli rumah.

A church member who lives in Kepong is migrating to US. He is selling his house for a little over RM200k.

I have been toying with the idea of staying in Kepong. First of all, it's very near my church. Secondly, it's midway between Selayang and Taman Paramount, so I won't have to travel so far to meet Mei Yee. Thirdly, I may have a stronger chance to get myself transferred out of SMK Selayang Bharu. Fourthly, I have a feeling that Kepong is a safer neighbourhood to be in. Fifthly, non-kosher food abounds.

Since I've been thinking about shifting there... Why not buy a house there?

No way I can buy it on my own. I'm not entitled to get a government housing loan yet. Even if I am, I can't afford to pay off more than a grand every month on house installments alone.

Talked to my father about it. We hit a great idea: He buys half the house, I buy half the house. He buys as an investment, I buy to stay. When the price of the house appreciates, we sell it and split it 50-50. It's better for him to put the money in a house than in fixed deposits.

It all sounded pretty fine and dandy. But after thinking about it one sleepless night, I realized it's not such a good idea after all.

My father's motivation and mine are different. He's buying to invest. I'm buying to stay. Let's say he wants to sell it after 5 years. I have to move. If I don't, my father will be cheated.

That means, from the moment I step into my new house, I have to start thinking of acquiring a new one. I have to be continuously saving up for that bigger, better house. So when the time comes, I can sell it and move. Where is the peace in that?

Eventually, when I do get a bigger, better house... That will also mean I'll have bigger debts to pay off until an older age. Where is the sense in that?

And while I'm staying in that bigger, better house, I'll have to pay installments for two houses. Until I can find someone to buy my "old" house from me. How long is that going to take?

For a person of my vocation, what does buying a house in Kepong mean?

Getting that house in Kepong will mean putting a lot of attention into acquiring wealth, only to move to another new house, and plunge myself into a deeper debt. Surely I have to find a lot of side income to keep my head above the installments. Whatever extra income I may earn no longer becomes a bonus. It becomes a need. I have to keep working harder and harder. I won't own the house. The house owns me.

I fail to see the logic in that.

So, operasi tak jadi.

Calculator in hand, fast-forwarding myself into the future. To spare you the calculations, here is the result: I won't be able to afford a RM200k house on my own. I can only hit the RM100k-ish bracket. You're not looking at freehold, landed property in that kind of bracket. You're looking at an apartment. A small one.

What can I do until I can buy that small apartment?

Continue renting a flat for RM350 a month.

"If you're gonna be paying RM350 for a flat, it won't be too much to pay an additional RM250 for a RM600/month installment for an apartment of your own, isn't it? Why pay rental to other people, when you can be paying installments for your own place?"

Of course it won't be too much. If I accumulate the amount of rental I would have paid over 3 years, I would have enough to make an initial payment for an RM100k apartment. But where am I going to stay for the next 3 years?

Hence, the necessary evil of renting a place instead of buying one.

Since I'm at it, I may as well toy with the idea of never owning my own place. Why?

Because there are people who actually get by that way. They may not have their own house. But they are not in debt like those who do. They are not enslaved by the very thing they stay in.

By the way, this world is not my home. Why should I be so preoccupied with making my home here, when it isn't? I would rather be found busy in the house of the Lord, than to be caught struggling to maintain a house I can't comfortably afford. And thus pierce myself with many griefs.

Instead of asking God for a house in this world, I'd rather ask Him to continually remind me not to love it. If I can shift my paradigm, I can shift my goals. If I shift my perspective, I shift the place where I want to build my home.

Two things I request of You
(Deprive me not before I die):
Remove falsehood and lies far from me;
Give me neither poverty nor riches
Feed me with the food allotted to me;
Lest I be full and deny You,
And say, "Who is the Lord?"
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God. (Proverbs 30:7-9)

One of the best holidays I've had

2008-02-11T13:29:00.001+08:00

What I realize I missed most when I went home for Chinese New Year...

Waking up to find food on the table. Really good food, still warm, in huge amounts! It's a rarity in my part of the world.

Meeting familiar people and hearing familiar languages, even if I don't understand them. I may not understand what they are saying, but it gives me the feeling that I am home.

Knowing that my parents still love me a lot. My mum bends over backwards to make all my favourite food. She has been doing that since I was Joshua kecik.... Until I am Joshua besar.

Moral of the story...

Good things cannot be realized as long as they are taken for granted.

What I learned most during Chinese New Year...

When traveling towards KL after the holidays, the traffic is the same. Be it 1:30 am or 1:30 pm. I can testify for the 1:30 a.m. part.

Moral of the story...

Travel with somebody in the car. So something bad won't happen and you won't add to the jam.

What I learned most about my mental self during Chinese New Year...

I cannot do nothing for too long. Or be in a state of mental inactivity. I will get brain freeze, stoned, or irritable. Gimme an idea to think about. Or something to dream about. Even if it's just wishful thinking, or a plan to build a castle in the air. It keeps me excited, it keeps me occupied, it gets me going.

Moral of the story...

During gong xi fa cai, take steps to ward off the gong gong feeling. It comes easily when you've finally had enough rest.

What I learned most about my physical self during Chinese New Year...

Something is seriously wrong with my posture. I can't stay on my feet for prolonged hours. I get lower back pains. And I'm hardly 30.

Moral of the story...

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth. Before difficult days come by... When you have to put a lumbar support in your car seat, and vocalize an exhaling sound whenever you sit down.

This is my favourite Petronas Chinese New Year advertisement. Because I don't need to read the subtitles for this one :)

Happy Chinese New Year to all!

And all prawns go to Sheol...

Somewhere, over the rainbow...

2008-01-27T19:20:00.000+08:00

... A Muslim cleric queried me in an old blog post, Do Christian Evolutionists Exist. Old enough to feel like it was a blast from the past!

He said he finds it ironic that Christians believe in a transcendent God, who is a higher determinant, who cannot be part of what is being determined. Because Christians say that Jesus is God, when he is provenly the "being determined" for he walked on Earth, was a historical figure, was a part of creation, therefore a non-transcendent.

I am reminded once again of my initial purpose of starting this blog. Which is to minister to all who read it. Hence, the name Hasten Ministries.

I am encouraged by the fact that my writings can reach just about anybody, anywhere in the world. I realize that there are many silent readers, whom I could have affected with strokes on a keyboard, without knowing it.

I am inspired again to see my blogging as a ministry.

A lot of my blogging energy has been channeled to my church's Young Adults blog. You can read about what was preached over the pulpit every Sunday.

Reflections, thoughts, opinions, and spin-off discussions are hoped to spring off from there. Sunday sermons should be more than a one-off weekend thing. It should be a message that is discussed, meditated upon, and practised throughout the week. It is with this hope that the Kepong Gospel Chapel blog has taken this new direction.

Feel free to check it out at http://kgcyoungadults.blogspot.com/.

Rombak in Gombak

2008-01-21T15:44:00.000+08:00

No, it's not Rumble in the Bronx. It's the local version. It is... Rombak in Gombak.

The school time table will be reshuffled again. Rombak lagi. It's the third time already this year. "Not enough teachers" is the reason. 9 teachers are leaving.

Just when we thought we can have 24 periods per week... It's going up again.

Pn. P says she'll leave next year. By hook or by crook. If that happens, that means... I will have more Add Math classes to teach! And less periods with kelas-kelas separuh iblis! Hooray!

* * * * * * * * * *

Speaking of kelas-kelas separuh iblis... There was this separuh iblis in my 4 Neptune class last year. I heard during the Mesyuarat Lembaga Disiplin that apparently, this separuh iblis has Indon parents. Both his parents ran back to Indonesia. He's left with the whatever-whoever-Indons to look after him.

No wonder he became delinquent...

* * * * * * * * * *

More on the Mesyuarat Lembaga disiplin. I'm not given the kuasa merotan yet. Yet. Har har har. Imagine when that day comes...

Robocop by day. Dark Justice by night.
You can run. But you can't hide.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hard core cases were discussed during the meeting. To help teachers keep track of the hard core students, we tried to find out which classes they are in this year. Guess what.

Of all the Malay boys mentioned...

All of them...

Are in my class.

Robocop or not?

* * * * * * * * * *

In my own name list, there are 45 people in my class.

In the official name list, I have 37 people in my class.

That means, 8 of them are pendatang haram.

They find their hard core friends.
They see my class got a lot.
They come in.
They sit down.
They say they baru masuk my class.

Robocop or not?

* * * * * * * * * *

I asked the Penolong Kanan HEM. What do I do the next time I come across our own students taking drugs outside the school?

The answer I got was... Call police. Or take their photo with my handphone.

If the Lembaga Disiplin can sponsor a camera phone, I will Robocop lah.

* * * * * * * * * *

Tactics from the crypt. You know how they trick students?

They come to you and offer a job.

First month, they pay you RM200 as agreed.

Second month, they pay you RM200 as agreed.

Third month, they pay you RM150. Or RM100.

Fourth month, they give you a handphone. Canggih wan. They say the handphone costs more than their monthly pay. The student takes the handphone.

Now, the student has to work for months and months and months, till late at night, to earn back how much the handphone was worth.

Student gets "stuck" with the handphone.
Student goes to work because of the handphone.
Student doesn't get cash because of the handphone.
Student gets trapped because of the handphone.
Student gets enslaved.
Student becomes desperate.
Student turns delinquent.

If it's a girl, they use a handphone as bait. If it's a boy, they use a motorbike.

Needless to say, the handphones and motorbikes are stolen stuff.

* * * * * * * * * *

Selayang needs a Saviour.

Don't look at me. I'm just... Errr... Math teacher.

* * * * * * * * * *

Nah, give you inspiration...

The future of law enforcement.

Glimpses of glory

2008-01-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

Side profile...

Back profile...

Front profile...

Not until March 2008.

Sometimes I wonder...

2008-01-16T16:32:00.000+08:00

... If I am schizophrenic.

Sometimes, I feel like I wanna lock people up into iron cages and drown them. Sometimes I feel like I wanna literally seize boys by their collar and throw them out of the class. Sometimes I feel like scolding the sons of the soil in English with poisonous words, beautifully profound, but yet not vulgar. So they can't accuse me verbally abusing them because there is no way their vocabulary permits them to repeat what I said.

But sometimes... I wonder what the sons of the soil do after school. What they must go through just to get by. How it must be like to be born into a religion they didn't choose. And how I can help them have a better life.

Sometimes I feel like an idiot, trying to cast my pearls before swine. I feel like doing what Paul says in Romans, to "give them up" to whatever they wanna be. Or, like in Exodus, God hardens Pharaoh's heart - not by actively doing it. He merely let Pharaoh be. Like clay that is not spun by the potter, it hardens by itself.

It's not what you do. It's what you don't do. All I have to do is withhold my knowledge from them. They will be condemned to a future of failure, suffering and darkness.

But sometimes... I feel like I've impacted the people who really need it the most. I feel that if 1 person in the class has benefited from my teaching, it makes all the effort worth it. Even if only 1 student bothered to come up to me, I shall in no wise turn him away. Even in a cell of malevolent, delinquent monkeys, I find more pleasure in making things click for 1 boy, than castrating all the monkeys together. It happened for me in 4 Neptune last year.

Sometimes, I think the school is crazy. Senior teachers suggest my name without me knowing it, and I get piled up with positions I never coveted nor asked for. And I start wishing I was dumb and demented, so I won't have to take it.

But sometimes... I stay up late just typing out name lists... Thinking of ways to do things differently... Going to the Sri Siantan pool to negotiate with the authorities, trying to get special rates for my Swimming Club students, and thinking of ways to strike connections with students outside a classroom environment.

Sometimes, I feel like my self-worth is questionable. I feel like there is no honour in what I do. No one really clamours for my job. Usually under-achievers aim for it to ride under the government's wings.

I don't have the privilege of going for an interview, and measuring what I'm worth against my employer's expectations, have the pleasure of meeting it, and enjoy just rewards that come with it. Even in the interview that I had with the SPP, frankly, I think it was an insulting joke. I don't see how I can fail. And even if I pass (which I did), I don't see the honour in it.

I don't have any avenues for self-development. I feel as though I am stuck under a school ceiling, with an academic prowess that does not need to exceed a 17-year-old's. Instead of opportunities to grow, I find that there are more chances of growing numb and stagnated.

But sometimes... I feel that I have the best job in the world. I feel like it's the best decision I've made in my life, career-wise. If eternity is real, I feel that there is no other job under heaven that I would want to do, and no other place I would want to work, other than in a place with unlimited potential, continuously ripe for harvest.

Sometimes I think my anger is murder.

But sometimes... I think my anger is righteous.

Sometimes, I think I'm wrong for doing the wrong thing.

Sometimes, I think I'm wrong for doing the right thing.

But sometimes... I think I'm right for doing the wrong thing.

Sometimes I think I am a sinner.

But sometimes... I think I am a saint.

Sometimes, I like this version:

But sometimes... I like this one better:

And sometimes I want to eat chicken chop.

But sometimes... I want to eat fish and chips.

Sweeney Todd of Selayang

2008-01-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

I went to Selayang Mall today to get a haircut. Found a shop that gives a student cut for RM5, advanced student cut for RM8.

For the less informed, student cut does not mean special rate for students. Student cut means there are students in the saloon who are learning to cut hair. Part of their learning requires real life samples. If you don't mind being a real life sample, you ask for a student cut. A student will come and cut for you. It comes at a fraction of a price. A hairstyler's cut is at RM15.

Over some small talk, the trainee came to know that I was a teacher. She was a former student of SMK Darul Ehsan, the school right beside mine. The school that sucks away the top PMR performers from us, leaving us with refuse.

Getting to the point of the story...

That trainee went and punked me.

I said "Slope on the sides. Slope at the back."

She literally hacked off my sides and the back! Way up high!

Now, I look like a local punk. The kind that Selayang kids think looks cool.

She knew fairly well that I was a school teacher, for cryin' out loud. And she went and punked me.

I was even wearing a batik that time (On the 1st and 15th of every month, government servants wear batik to work). If I was wearing some la-la clothes, it's understandable lah. I was in a batik...

And she still went and punked me.

Can you imagine how that looked? Batik... With punk hair?

Maybe she thinks hairstyling = hair-punking.

All kids in Selayang like punk-style.
I am in Selayang.
Therefore, I must like punk style.

Her syllogism was intact.

It's a love-hate relationship, Selayang and I.

Either it was her faulty logic, or her faulty skill. Maybe she tried to do a slope. And she went, "Ooops... Let's try again." She tried to do a slope again. And she went "Ooops... Let's try again." After many many tries... She has nothing left for a slope. She hacked everything off.

Oh, and she took 2 hours to do that.

You may be thinking, "Why didn't I stop her if I knew she was doing it wrong?" The thing is, when I take off my glasses, I can't see a thing! By the time I felt something was not quite right, she was almost done. I put on my glasses. And...

What the punk??

I thought I wanted to take pictures of my new hairstyle, and post them here. But after thinking about it... No way.

If I had a choice, I'll stay indoors until March.

I wonder how in the world I'm gonna go to school tomorrow.

Since I'm at it, I may as well wear drainpipe jeans and a black, stretchy shirt, isn't it? And drape a chain around my right arm.

If I hear any wolf-whistles tomorrow, I will kill.

Squeezy toy

2008-01-14T18:34:00.000+08:00

"I want squeezy toy", says Mei Yee.

She gets squeezy toy for Christmas. Introducing... Noel!

Found her at a pet shop at Ikano Power Center. She was free for adoption. Was initially trying to shop for a handbag. "Liz Clairborne good ah? For RM1**" I asked my advisor, Li May via SMS. "How's the quality? Leather or PVC?"

*Lost*

Luckily I got this one. You can't possibly go wrong with a squeezy toy.

Here's a close up:

She likes to hide under enclosed spaces. Scared kua...

When she first arrived, she does not mew. She screams! EOW! EOW! EOW! EOW! EOW! If she has a surname, it must be Eow.

That was back then. Now, hardly 3 weeks later, she has become a manja miaow. You can easily tangkap her.

She's a small thing, really. Can cuddle her up into a ball.

Oh, shit...

Bath time! The first time she went to take a bath, she was made a huge racket! EEEEEOOOOOOOWWWW!! EEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWW!! Claws all come out.

Now, when she takes a bath... Not a mew!

After she's shampoo-ed, she does it her way.

Finally done, feeling like a million bucks.

Small, cute thing. She even sleeps with Mei Yee on her bed. But she's real smart, for a kitten. She does not poo on her bed. In fact, she does not poo anywhere else. She does it in the yellow litter box. Then, she buries the poo herself. And she's careful enough to not step on any of her poo.

She likes humans...

And warm, enclosed spaces too...

I can't believe I talk to kittens nowadays...

Scary is the way that leads to life

2008-01-12T07:21:00.000+08:00

There are few things that are scarier than a teacher who calls you out by name, marks your book in front of you, and gives you instant correctional instructions. If you didn't do your work, you squirm in your pants and face the music.

True or not?

There are fewer things that are scarier than a teacher who meticulously keeps records on a name list. If you have not done what you were told, you just know that you can't escape. It's only a matter a time. If it's not today, it's tomorrow. Better do it before tomorrow.

True or not?

Even scarier is a teacher commends you rightfully without overdoing it, and rebukes you reasonably without pulling punches. You know he is not dishing out compliments just to gain rapport, and he is not scolding you just because he wants to release his temper.

True or not?

It's a new revelation. Students look for a teacher who says what he means, and does what he says.

If you say "buat semua soalan" but you do not mark them, the students know you are not serious.

If you give instructions to the class and you don't have a name list, the students know you are bluffing.

If you don't affirm or rebuke students at the right time, the students know you are not in control of them.

"Aren't those kind of stuff merely basic classroom management?" You may ask.

You think every teacher actually does it meh... Where got...

He who marks books, keeps lists and talks straight will become Guru Cemerlang.

Actually very simple only, hor...

Calculator monopoly

2008-01-11T06:48:00.000+08:00

Popular Bookstores at Jaya are having a moving out sale. Prices are knocked off up to 70%! Go have a look. Popular has never been this cheap!

Calculators are going for discounted prices.

I'm collecting a fund to buy up all their calculators. And give them away to deserving students in my school.

At RM50, you can put a tool in the hands of a kid to help him/her to count. Or eke a passing grade.

Any extra proceeds will be used to buy compulsory Math workbooks for the students. My students are supposed to buy a Longman workbook, but not everybody can afford to be quick with their cash to buy one. I can get workbooks for them at bulk supply at heavily discounted prices.

Top scorers in the first monthly test who don't have calculators will get a calculator as their prize. (The term "top scorer" in SMK Selayang Bharu means the highest marks among all the failing marks. In other words, the one-eyed jack who is king among the blind. These one-eyed jacks are the ones that need more motivation. Considering they tried to count using their 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, and 10 toes, they should be given a chance to do much better. I don't wanna press my luck and see if they can use the same tools to solve trigo.)

I wanna combat number illiteracy. Help me help them.

If you are interested to be part of the cause, drop me a line at johaste@yahoo.com. Donors will be informed about the beneficiaries of their generosity. A detailed report will be emailed to you.

Thank you.

*The sale at Popular goes on until Sunday.

I spy with my little eye...

2008-01-09T18:22:00.000+08:00

The first rule of Hindraf is... You don't speak about Hindraf.
The second rule of Hindraf is... You don't speak about Hindraf.
The third rule of Hindraf is... You don't speak about Hindraf.

1st from left: New member. Smiling smiling.
2nd from left: Mr. Raman. Just released from ISA.
3rd from left: Pn. S. Branch leader, giving briefing. Full name and face not disclosed.
4th from left: Pn. Meera. Just promoted from afternoon branch to morning branch by Uthayakumar.
5th from left: Pn. Malathi. "Thank God... All is fine..."

* * * * * * * * * *

Introducing... The Terror.

One day, I want to hold what he is holding.

* * * * * * * * * *

Introducing... The Power.

No, she is not the Pengetua. She is Kak Rom, the kerani. With one stroke of a pen, she can mess up your gaji.

She can turn you from this:

Into this:

Not even the Pengetua can do that.

* * * * * * * * * *

Case file: Suicide morning.
Location: Above Chinese medicine stall.
Time: 0715 hours.

The alleged Indonesian maid was seen standing on the ledge of the balcony yesterday. Left hand side.

* * * * * * * * * *

Finally, this is Sunshine.

Vehicle for undercover narcotics, Selayang division. Catch drug addict students, put inside.

Lessons from dy/dx

2008-01-08T18:16:00.000+08:00

Joshua Johnson reminded me of a quote I came up with during my university years, which I printed out on yellow paper and pasted on the wall in my hostel room:

Differentiate...
Between what you need and what you want
God give me strength
to do what I need
The courage
to want the right things
And the wisdom
to differentiate between the two

Mantra for highly busy individuals. May be sold on a bookmark in Evangel bookstores one day. Hehehe...

* * * * * * * * * *

AGM today for Kelab Renang. Only 1 boy turned up.

Bagusss... Bagusss...

Then 21 more turned up.

Ummm... Bagus? :P

Oh well. I guess it's gonna be a go.

I suddenly felt motivated to do the club. Dunno why. It's a strange thing.

* * * * * * * * * *

Kelab Fotografi. Finally got the camera passed on to me. It will be in my care for the rest of the year. To be used at my disposal. Olympus C-760, 3.2 Megapixels, 10x optical zoom.

Suddenly I felt motivated to become snap happy. Dunno why. It's an unexplained phenomenon.

Imagine the kind of crimes I can catch on camera. And put it on my blog...

* * * * * * * * * *

The Form 4's finally got their classes today, after being cooped up in the hall since Thursday last week.

"Cikgu, ini kelas paling belakang kah?"

"Ya, ini memang kelas paling belakang sekali!"

A chinese girl starting crying.

They don't look so bad after all. My new persona is working.

I suddenly felt motivated to become a good form teacher. Hard. Tough. No nonsense. But sincere. Think Von Trapp. Captain Von Trapp.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ok. First picture with school camera.

Is it ok to bring bread to school with bak kua inside?

Drugs and suicide before breakfast

2008-01-07T15:01:00.001+08:00

I was driving to school this morning. Along the way, I saw two boys, blowing white clouds of smoke into the air. It can't be cigarette smoke. Ganja? Syahbu? It must be one of those stuff. Ciggie smoke doesn't make billowy, white clouds of smoke.

I slowed down as I passed them. I saw my school's emblem on their ties.

I stopped the car, got down, and stopped them. The acted as though I wasn't there. Their faces were ghastly pale.

I got into my car again, passed them again, and took a good look at their faces. Two Malay boys. Faces ghostly white. Must be in Form 3 or Form 4.

Just as I was parking my car, my mind racing on my next course of action... I looked opposite my school... At the balcony above the Chinese medicine shop... And I saw...

An Indonesian maid, standing on the balcony's ledge, screaming... Wanting to jump!

What a way to start the week.

The two drug junkies did not turn up at school, of course. The school counselor said if the school caught them, they will be sent for counseling. If the Anti Dadah Kebangsaan caught them, they will be sent to Program Jati Diri. If the police caught them, they will be sent to Pemulihan Akhlak.

What about rehab?

Nope. That will take a court order... Must produce evidence... Yada yada. Too much hassle.

What should I do next time, if I were to catch drug junkies red-handed?

The answer I got was, let the police deal with it. Because they may get aggressive when they are high on drugs. They may have sharp objects or weapons under their shirt. You may put your life in danger. They may recognize your car and have their revenge.

Feel helpless yet? Frustrated? Worried?

How would I handle it differently?

Ambush them from behind. Give one of them a hard, full-swing slap. Follow through with a backhand slap on the other. While they are still dazed, strong-arm them from behind. Drag them into my car. Drive them to the police station along the street, adjacent to my school.

What... You think inviting them into the car and going for a drink would work?

But is such an unconventional intervention called for? Is it even worth it? To put your own life on the line to help two boys from getting consumed by the hellfire of drugs?

Pn Malathi said, "From the first time I saw you, I always thought you looked like Superman. maybe you should write an essay, 'The day I wished I was Superman.' "

Not accurate. A Messiah syndrome, I have not.

Mei Yee says I am like Nathan Petrelli. A public personality on the outside. But on the inside, he is cold, cruel, and driven by a selfish agenda.

Her assessment must be more accurate. Since she is the only human being who spends the most time with me.

But for me, I'd prefer to have this alter ego:

Christ is winsome...

2008-01-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

...but my church is not.

I find it hard to reconcile the fact that Christ is winsome to many a sinner, but my church is not winsome to believers.

How come people don't step into my church and leave saying, "Wow! I'll be coming back for more!" But I hear all kinds of fantastic comments about how wonderful church services are elsewhere.

Maybe it's the sign of the times. People are generally not interested in church anymore. That's what I commonly hear.

But maybe we don't have to blame the world. We can just look at ourselves. A drop in interest in church is not wholly because the world is getting increasingly evil. It is not the world. It is the church. My church. It is just plainly not winsome. If its own members drag their feet to come, what more believers from other churches.

I don't hear the young being enthusiastic about church. And I don't see the old getting any younger.

I don't hear people changing membership to come to a Brethren church. But I hear people from the Brethren church leaving for other churches. And they say they have grown much better elsewhere.

I don't hear people saying that my church has something to offer that other churches have not. But I hear people saying how much other churches have done wonders to their lives. I hear people saying "My wife has grown out from the Brethren church."

I don't hear people praising my church for the good work it has been doing for the community. But I hear people comparing my church to a house with an uptight landlady who keeps you stifled in a musty room.

I don't hear my church producing missionaries who are confident enough to step out in faith, because the church stands right behind them. But I hear other churches sending out missionaries like Indonesia sending out Indonesian maids.

I hear people suggesting that I should leave my church. Because I can grow much better elsewhere. Because I have proven myself inter-denominationally before. Because I should not think I am undispensible. Because I should not be resting proudly on my reputation in my own church. Because I should not stop God from leading me to where He wants me to go. Because I should step out in faith. Because God can use me anywhere. Because I should not rely only on what I know and am comfortable of. Because I should learn to let go, before God can use me for greater things.

To all that, I have this to say:

I am selfish.

You see, I am thinking of my own position in eternity. I am on a get-rich-quick scheme. Not on earth, but in heaven. I've given up wanting to get rich here on earth. I'm banking all my chips in heaven. Permit me to be selfish enough to get myself to the other world.

My church, although stuffy, musty and stifling to some, is to me a place rich with opportunities to serve the Living God. Richer than anywhere else I know. If I were to throw it all away and go elsewhere, seeking "greener churches", I will make myself to be a fool. What greater honour is there, than to serve an Almighty God right where I am? What greater treasure is there, than the rewards of serving Him?

My church is so lousy? That is exactly why I am here. My church is not winsome? That is exactly why I am sticking around.

I have more than enough opportunities to serve right where I am. I have lots of things to do for my church, lots of responsibilities to carry, lots of plans, and lots of dreams for it.

I fail to see any reason why I should leave my church and start elsewhere from zero. Because there is no time left to start from zero. I wanna be on a fast track to heaven. I don't want to be distracted or delayed by the transitions of moving.

So brethren... If you hear me talking negatively about my church, it is because I am expressing what I long for the church to become - not what it currently is, but to be to all that it can be, and to be much better than it already is.

I know why I am where I am, and I know what God has called me to.

Brothers and sisters from other churches... If you give me even a slightest hint that I should leave my church... I scramble my mind to find the most fitting words to say... The best I can come up with is this:

"Get behind me, Satan."

Something snails can't do

2008-01-06T13:14:00.000+08:00

Imagine... If I can shift house. To Kepong... That will mean...

No more traveling 20 minutes to church. It could be a 5-minute dash with my bicycle.
No more traveling 40 minutes to Taman Paramount. Less chances of falling asleep on the wheel.
No more driving for 2 hours in a day. Jimat petrol, no need to service kereta so fast.
No more little kids riding bicycles around the corridor. And screaming as they fly by.
No more lugging my bicycle up 10 flights of stairs every day.
No more difficult access to pork.
No more worrying that someone will break into my mailbox and curi my Creation magazine.
No more crazy suggestion to do Ah Long duty and collect maintenance fees from the tenants on the same floor.

That will also mean...

Can host Young Adults meetings at my house.
Can go to church for multiple meetings easily.
Can have valid reason to transfer out of SMK Selayang Bharu.
Can have a chance to teach in a school in Kepong.
Can teach in an area where more people are interested in academic pursuit.
Can live in an area where you don't look and sound like an alien from China.
Can check my letterbox and be confident that my mail will be there.
Can live in an area where a lots of old people can be seen walking around in the morning, going to market, etc.
Can find food apart from nasi kandar, nasi paprik, tomyam campur, burger...
Can live in a house at a flat's rental rate.
Can park my car in my house.
Can park my bicycle in my house.
Can have air-cond in my house.
Can have washing machine in my house.
Can keep more things neatly in the kitchen cabinets in my house.

Oooops, my house? I mean... Meng Wah's house. Hehehehe...

Please let it happen... Pleeeeease... Pleeeease... I'll pray until my eyeballs go inside the eye socket... Cross my fingers until they become crooked...

When Mathematicians have nothing to do...

2008-01-04T14:02:00.000+08:00

Jumlah hari persekolahan termasuk cuti am = 207.
Jumlah hari cuti penggal = 84.

Which job lets you work slightly more than half a year, every year?

Which job lets you work half a day, every day?

Which job gives you almost 3 months' worth of holidays?

On top of all that, which job also gives you medical leaves and Cuti Rehat Khas?

1 week has an average of 970 teaching minutes.
1 day has an average of 194 teaching minutes.
That's 3.23 hours of teaching per day.
That's 64.67 teaching hours per month.

If you count the pay based on teaching hours...

That's RM38.69 per hour. Fresh graduate rate.

Aku guru Malaysia!

Throat infection

2008-01-04T13:43:00.000+08:00

No class since first day of school. Form 4's are still undergoing streaming. Will continue until Monday next week. Tuesday only start teaching.

Bagusss...

Penolong Kanan HEM released me from being Penyelaras Form 4.

Bagusss... Bagusss...

Pn. N said I can let go of the Fotografi thing for the school magazine. And be in charge of magazine distribution instead.

Lagi bagusss...

Fellow Math teachers agreed to use workbooks instead of textbooks. Form 4 Maths classes will be using Longman. Form 4 Add Maths will be using Pelangi. If you are a book salesman, and if you want my school to use your books... You know who to talk to :P

Bessst...

Now waiting for the clinic to reopen, to see the doctor. So I can sing louder next Monday.

NEGAAARAAAKUUUUUUU!!

Guru Cemerlang on the loose

2008-01-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's the first day of school. I think I feel worse than a student.

Tomorrow, SMK Selayang Bharu will see a new Cikgu Joshua.

Tomorrow, I am no longer a new junior.

Tomorrow, I will be one year senior.

Tomorrow, I will bring a chain in my pocket.

Tomorrow, I will sing the Negaraku at the top of my lungs.

And the state anthem as well:

Duli Yang Maha Mulia
Selamat di atas takhta
Allah lanjutkan usia Tuanku
Rakyat mohon restu
Atas Duli Tuanku
Bahagia selama-lamanya
Aman dan sentosa
Duli Yang Mahaaaaaaaaa....
Muliaaaaaaaaaaa....

Stay tuned for updates.

For richer or poorer

2008-01-02T10:47:00.000+08:00

Don't you think it's strange... That you seem to be richer when you were a student? I thought it was the other way around. Now that I'm working, I seem to be nearer to the poverty line!

When I was a student, I was living on a scholarship. Added with RM300 from my father's monthly allowance, I was eating like a king. Easily a red dollar bill per meal. Sometimes even more, after a workout in the pool.

Now, I'm scrimping every dollar on food. Skipping lunches every once in a while. Hogging freebies every jamuan when I can.

I had a dream of becoming a triathlete last year. After a while, I realized it will remain just as a dream. No funding for body fuel.

It got me thinking about my father. He was just a school teacher like me. Sole bread winner. How did he find the means to raise my family?

He had 3 jobs.

I hear ikut skema people saying it's not right for government servants to hold more than one job. Well, if my father ikut skema, I wouldn't have had the opportunities to train to be a swimmer, would I? I wouldn't have made it to the national championships, I wouldn't have made it to Sukma, I wouldn't have become a lifeguard, I wouldn't have become a national lifesaver, I wouldn't have represented my country in Japan, nor participated in the World Championships in Australia, would I?

The money involved just to give me a proper nutrition would've been sufficient to raise 4 kids in Selayang.

Trust me. My family was not the spendrift type. My father drove old cars all his life. We lived in rented houses and flats until I hit secondary school. The house that my father finally managed to buy was a humble one, not more than a hundred grand. If cars and houses are the things that determine your status, my father had nothing much to show.

He never pampered himself with anything luxurious. His clothes have the sole purpose of covering his body decently enough to get to work. Discounts in Sunshine Square appeal more to him than brands.

Thinking back, he must've loved me a lot. The amount of hard work he put in just to fund my nutrition for swimming... And seeing me through my entire education, which in total, did not amount any more than 2 grand in fees... He couldn't have done it with only one job.

Yet I hear ikut skema people saying why it is not ethical for government servants to hold more than one job. Probably, people who ikut skema can afford to ikut skema because they are affluent enough to ikut skema.

Well, anyway... I've digressed.

I learned that it is impossible to serve both God and mammon. Jesus was right.

The world's values are totally in conflict with the heavenly kingdom's values. The work you do for the world will give you money. The work for the Lord won't give you a cent.

But here's the thing. The world's rewards in monetary terms will last you no longer than your stay on earth. The heavenly kingdom's rewards start the moment you end your stay on earth, and stretches for eternity.

So, you have 24 hours a day. If you put all your time to work for the world, you will get a lot of money on earth. If you put all your time to work for the heavenly kingdom, you won't get a cent here. Which will it be? Broke on earth, or broke in heaven?

Therefore, the "smart" thing to do is to find the best possible balance between the two... The delicate line that keeps you alive on earth, while you do your best for the kingdom.

But here's the other thing. The same Person who said you cannot serve both God and mammon also said these things:

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys the field."

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it." (Matthew 13:44-46)

He didn't say anything about "finding that delicate line between the two." He said "sell all".

It's like a cosmic gamble. If you believe Him, you put all your chips with Him. Then you cross your fingers really hard. And you hope He'd better be right.

But you still cant run away from the fact that you want money. In those deep, dark moments... You secretly wish you can be rich... And hush hush yourself for such a shameful wish.

I heard this song on the radio once:

Shamelessly blatant and funny! That song rings in my head at night. And I chuckle to myself before I sleep.

New year reflections

2008-01-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh!!

Do you remember this cartoon?

Tell me if you're not smiling yet.

Don't you wish you can just go back?

Sigh...

Happy new year, everyone.

Things You Dare Not Say About Christmas

2008-01-01T23:13:00.000+08:00

"I thank God that Christmas is over". A daughter of a church elder said this recently. I so know what she means.

We always say Christmas is not about the gifts. It's not about the shopping. Yada yada...

Yes, this is applicable for Western countries. People buy gifts for one another during Christmas, even though they are not Christians. It is more like a holiday tradition thingy. They get caught up with shopping and gifts, and they miss out on the real meaning of Christmas.

But take a closer look at our Asian context. Do non-Christians buy gifts for one another during Christmas? Do you think your regular Lim Ah Chong and Karrupiah Munusamy went shopping for Christmas gifts for Siti Fatimah and Santokh Singh? No.

Even if they may be out shopping, it is because of the discount. Not for the gift exchange.

Let's get real. Who are the ones who are really caught up with the shopping? It is not the non-Christians. It is the Christians who get worked up about what gifts to buy for one another.

So why are we telling non-Christians that Christmas is not about the shopping? We are telling the wrong audience.

We say Christmas is a time of remembering the birth of Christ. We should not lose sight of it in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Christmas, yada yada...

But who are the ones who are busiest during Christmas? It is not the non-Christians. It is the Christians who get the most stressed up during this time of year. Presentations. Musicals. Christmas rallies. Caroling. You wanna tell people that Christmas is about one Silent Night? You should be telling the Christians.

Ho ho ho. Such is the irony of Christmas.

Congratulations! You won a lucky draw

2008-01-01T17:12:00.000+08:00

Telemarketers have a new tactic nowadays.

They call your house. They make you believe you won a lucky draw. And you must go to their office to get a freebie. A complementary 3 days, 2 nights stay at a hotel. A 1-month free membership in a gym. That sort of thing.

They will sit you down, give you a 40-minute marketing talk, then they hand you the freebie.

Smart. They make you think you've won something. So you don't want to waste it. But in actual fact, they're dragging you to hear their marketing pitch. At the comfort of their own office. They won't mind giving away a free 3 days, 2 nights stay because their hotel is not doing well anyway. It's better to give a free room away along with a marketing pitch, than to leave the free room empty.

One day, what if you pull off a Tom Mabe.

No more I love yous...

2008-01-01T12:37:00.000+08:00

Pn. R, the Penolong Kanan Ko-k called me during the holidays. She wanted me to start a Kelab Renang. The Pengetua wants the school to be the first from Gombak to enter the state level competition.

Ok. The deal was this. Release me from PIBG. And I'll do the Kelab Renang.

I thought I'll draft out a 3-year plan. Make arrangements with the Sri Siantan pool for cheaper rates. Teach them a new skill. Introduce them to lifesaving. Give them opportunities to become qualified lifeguards. So they can have a job to do after school hours, to help make ends meet.

Sounds like a plan, huh.

Staff meeting. All 4 of my positions in school are maintained. On top of that, 5 more new positions are added.

No. 1. I am still form teacher. But of all classes, I get to be form teacher of the last class in Form 4. I bet nobody wanted it. Give it to the young guy. He can handle it.

No. 2. I am the newly appointed Penyelaras Tingkatan 4. I have the much coveted job to handle all the Form 4 registers, besides taking care of my own. 11 classes in all. I will have to process every form 4 student who comes in or leaves the school.

My name wasn't initially on that position. It was some other woman. Her name was canceled of with a stroke of a pen. And my name was written on it. "Aku tak boleh buat lah. Bagi Joshua lah." Seniors choose. Juniors do.

No. 3. Yes, I'm still in the Lembaga Disiplin. In charge of the Sistem Merit Demerit.

No. 4. Yes, I'm still in the PIBG. AJK Guru.

No. 5. New post. Kelab Guru & Staf Sokongan (KGSS). AJK.

That's 5 administrative positions.

Now let's go to the co-curricular ones.

No. 6. Kelab Fotografi. "You pegang saja kamera ini. Pelajar yang buat kerja. Kalau pegang fotografi, boleh cepat naik."

Yah, you think I was born yesterday, Pn. N. If it's so simple, why don't you pegang it yourself? Everyone says the work is sikit saja, sikit saja. Well, a lot of sikits will make a bukits, no?

Kalau nak naik, ada banyak cara. One of them is being good in the classroom, no?

No. 7. School magazine. I am the AJK Fotografi Pagi. Since I am in the kelab Fotografi, I am in the school magazine as well by proxy. It's the whole she-bang.

No. 8. Rumah Mat Kilau (yellow house).

No. 9. Kelab Renang. Start the club.

I learnt that there is actually no communication between the different departments. The Penolong Kanan Ko-k will give you work for her purposes. The Penolong Kanan Hal Ehwal Murid will give you work for her purposes. Both heads don't communicate their plans with one another.

If I were to ask the Pengetua if she can look up some random teacher's name, and tell me what positions he/she is holding, I don't think she can do that. Because if she can, she does not need us to list down all our duties each year for our Penilaian Tahunan, does she? That's how people end up with 9 positions in a year. That's how people have posts that you never even heard of, and get points for it by the end of the year.

Here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm going to tell the Penolong Kanan Ko-k, "Pn N, no deal. Saya tak akan bergerak."

No. 1. 4 Earth. I'm gonna love you. If you can't pay your fees, I'll make you pay by installments. Take out your wallet and gimme a dollar. A dollar a day will pay your fees in 2 month's time. I don't want any trouble. I just want to get the job done.

No. 2. Penyelaras Tingkatan 4. New boy comes in. His parents cakap Cina with me, because they can't speak any other language. They don't have their documents.

"Puan, sorry ah. Please get your documents ready and come back when you or your child have learnt the lingua franca. Or else, please go to a special school.

I only process students who are fit for this school. If you are not, I cannot assimilate you into our registry system.

You know what is assimilate? It's the same word you use in food digestion. You ingest it with your mouth, you digest it in your stomach, then you assimilate it in your intestines. In other words, it's the last process before you get the shit."

No. 3. Lembaga Disiplin. If I don't like you, I'll just enter demerit points into your name without you knowing it. You'll be gone before you can say abra-selayang-bra.

No. 4. PIBG. I won't turn up. Just watch and see. Don't like it? Drop me. Please.

No. 5. KGSS. Pegang saja, kan. Ok lah. Itulah yang saya akan buat. Pegang saja. I'll show you how good I am at pegang-ing. Just pegang la. Pegang...

No. 6. Kelab Fotografi. I'll take the camera. I'll use it for my own purposes. I won't remember to bring it to school. I'm senile. Buy me Omega 3 fish oil.

No. 7. School magazine. When there's even the smallest event, I'll bring the camera, and skip class. Pergi ambil gambar.

No. 8. Mat Kilau. Go yellow!

No. 9. Kelab Renang. Very simple. I'll tell them how much it costs to enter the pool. I'll show them how much it costs to buy swimming gear. Too expensive? Sorry. It's pool rules. No gear, no swim. Nobody can afford to join? So sad....

Or, I just pull off a medical leave on AGM day. No teacher, no promo, sure no students. Apa boleh buat. Tak ada orang minat. Tak boleh ada kelab lah.

Sorry lah, SMK Selayang Bharu. Wanna play games? Let's roll!

Totally insufficient dowry

2007-12-22T18:45:00.000+08:00

Here's an un-cliche-ed Christmas post:

Think the lotus... Feel the lotus...

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cop

2007-11-24T05:23:00.000+08:00

When you have trouble... Any kind of trouble at all...

Help is only a phone call away.

Karangan UPSR

2007-11-23T17:54:00.000+08:00

What would you do if a 12-year-old came to you with this essay...

The best of collection

2007-11-21T08:33:00.001+08:00

Just when you think you've seen it all...

I thought I was the only one with elephant jokes.

When the question sounds hard... Create a new one!

I always tell my students to use A4 single line paper. Here's why...

The answer so ah beng...

Hahahaha! This guy must be born in the 80's!

Sir, apa itu expand?
Expand itu kembangkan lah.

This wan, funny until can die!

This one so so lah... I've seen worse.

Well, if you come to SMK Selayang Bharu, you'll see more...

Finally, the last one...

Peperiksaan sudah tamat.. Sila letak pensel...

2007-11-20T11:18:00.000+08:00

If you had an extraordinary ability, what would you do with it?

If you had only a little time left, what would you do?

Don't you think that time is running out?

Haven't you heard that the Jews are secretly rebuilding the temple, on which the revelation of end-time events hinge on?

Didn't it occur to you that life is actually one big exam, and what you do with your limited knowledge, with your limited time, on your limited pieces of paper will determine what's going to happen to you for eternity?

Even though I was once a top-notch swimmer, an award-winning lifesaving instructor, a record-setting lifeguard, a national representative to international lifesaving events... I still wonder if I'll ever become like the old man with the fruit baskets.

Didn't it occur to you that even if you were the best at something, keeping it for yourself will amount to nothing?

Therefore, I purposed in my heart to not live like I'm staying. But to live like I'm leaving.

Anda tinggal sepuluh minit... Calon diingatkan mengikat kertas...