Isn’t Christianity all about God’s love? So isn’t it a good thing to share God’s love to an unbelieving boyfriend/girlfriend? To say that it’s wrong to be involved in a loving relationship with a non-Christian is double standards.
Yes, Christianity is all about God’s love. Yes, it’s a good thing to share God’s love to an unbelieving person. But no, it is not double standards to say a Christian shouldn’t get involved in a relationship with a non-Christian.
Showing God’s love to an unbeliever is one thing. But getting into a relationship with an unbeliever is another thing. Loving your neighbour and loving your enemy is a universal call for everyone. That is called outreach. But getting involved in a romantic relationship with an unbeliever is totally different. That is called compromise.
“And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:15) The love of Christ wins over the children of Belial. But Christ does not become one with Belial.
There are many ways of evangelism. Isn’t evangelism through a romantic relationship one of the best ways to show God’s love?
Yes, there are many ways of evangelism. But evangelizing through a way that causes sin is not an idea that God approves.
Let me draw an analogy. Suppose the government can take active action in evangelism. For example, maybe the government can grant special privileges to professing Christians. They will be given tax exemptions of a certain percentage, housing privileges, lenient business loans, and free education. (Does that sound like a familiar modus operandi?) It is a splendid way to “show God’s love” to encourage people to come to Christ. Yes, the motive is pure. But does God approve of such a method?
“But if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors” (James 2:9).
Same goes for evangelizing through romantic relationships. Yes, the motive may be pure (although I highly doubt it to be so), but it doesn’t mean it is not a sin. As much as the Great Commission is very important to God, so is His children’s sanctification. “For you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9).
Anyway, if I may be blunt. I don’t think evangelism through a romantic relationship works. Justify it all you want. Firstly, God won’t be pleased in the first place. And secondly, if your motives are really pure, win him/her over to Christ first… Then start the romantic relationship under God’s blessings. That’s real obedience. Don’t hide behind the call for evangelism to pursue your own selfish motives.
But I have seen real-life examples when a Christian dates a non-Christian, and eventually the unbeliever is won over for Christ and both turn out to be strong Christians. If they can do it, why can’t I?
Let me put it this way. When something evil turns out to be something good in the end, it still does not justify the wrong doing that caused evil in the first place. We cannot follow someone's example of doing wrong, and hoping that good will result as well.
Let me draw another analogy. Suppose a man gets involved with drugs. After many years of addiction, he finally broke out of it. And today, he goes around to schools and colleges, telling young people to say no to drugs.
That man managed to break free from his addiction to drugs. So, is it ok for us to take drugs? Just because there are real-life stories where drug addicts can come clean, does it justify taking drugs at all? Countless people never broke out of it.
But some people do break out from drug addiction. What shall we say then? This is because God has been very gracious to them. By God’s grace alone, they did not get what they deserve. Their lives were not ruined by drugs.
Same goes for following models of “successful” unequally yoked relationships. Just because an unequally-yoked relationship worked out well for some people, does that justify our disobedience to God’s call to sanctity? Just because it worked well for other couples, does it mean it will work out well for you too? Countless unequally-yoked relationships have resulted in the worse.
But some unequally-yoked relationships do work out for the better. What shall we say then? It is solely the grace of God. By God's grace alone, He has delivered some unequally-yoked relationships from plumetting towards a downward spiral and saved them from their sin.
But shall we test God’s grace? “And why not say, 'Let us do evil that good may come?'... Their condemnation is just” (Romans 3:8).
To be continued…
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5 comments:
Moreso if you do not subscribe to the concept of dating (as in trying out a relationship with someone, then moving on if he or she 'isn't the one' according to your expectations).
If you subscribe instead to courtship (seeing someone with the sole intent of definitely marrying that person, as approved by both sets of parents and ESPECIALLY according to God's specific will), then an unbelieving partner is out of the question!
Like, how do you seek God's will about your relationship together, when you have different 'gods'? If the LORD is the one who leads us to our life partner, not ourselves, well He definitely ain't gonna contradict His own statements regarding unequal yoking!
And PS, on showing love to others... Remember to love God too. Don't hurt His feelings by running off with someone, and letting your heart be stolen away from Him.
Looks like we've got two pastors in the house :). On a serious note - that was a good "sermon", JH. Thanks for sharing. And there was one particular relationship of a friend that came to mind throughout the "sermon" that you gave... Sigh.
Oh, I'm just a commentator, apologist, debator, argumentator.
"Commentator" or "commenter"?
I concur.
Relationships of the romantic kind should never be taken lightly. Your partner is the one you're going to share your life with, and it's impossible to do that without deviating from God's standards if the spouse is non-Christian.
Some Christians argue that they can win over their boyfriend/girlfriend, but these 'conversions' are usually made not because the non-believer comes to love Jesus, but because the non-believer wants to appease his/her partner.
And for those Christians who say firmly that they won't be led to disobey God by their non-Christian partners, well, haven't they already disobeyed God by starting that relationship in the first place? If they can disobey God at the start for one person, they will disobey Him further.
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