And we wonder why Chinese parent's don't go...

Seminar Kecemerlangan Keibubapaan
Mengangani Gejala Disiplin Pelajar
Peringkat Daerah Gombak 2007
Perangsang Templer Golf Club

The LCD projector screen shows a powerpoint slide, saying:

Pembentangan Kertas Kerja (1)
"Pendekatan Ke Arah membentuk Remaja Cemerlang"
Oleh: En. Sobri b. Abdul Ghani.

The "Encik" title is cover up. He is actually an ustaz.

He comes highly qualified. He is a graduate on Islamic studies from an Indonesian university. He has 10 kids of his own. "Tentulah dia cukup pengalaman untuk memberi ceramah," the emcee said.

On how to deal with a child with disciplinary problems, he showed us a demo. He said the west calls it "telepathy". It is a three-step methodology.

First, you go into your child's room when he is sleeping. If he is young, the door won't be closed. So it's easier.

1. Kneel down by the child's head. Then, speak in a whispering tone. Start off with love. Example, "Adam, saya sayangkan kamu. Kamu satu-satulah anak ayah. Walau apa-apa pun yang terjadi, atau apa-apa pun yang kau lakukan, engkau tetap anak ayah..."

2. Then, speak out your heart's content. Example, "Adam, ayah sangat sedih kerana engkau tidak dengar cakap ibu. Sayangkan lah ibu kau, Adam. Bila mak panggil berpuluh kali, kau tidak menjawab. Bila kawan telefon sekali saja, kau bergegas pergi..." Must maintain a whispering tone. Very important.

3. Finally, end with this. Put your hands of your thighs, palms face upwards, and say, "Pulanglah kepada Tuhan, Adam... Pulanglah kepada Tuhan..." Never say "Pulang kepada ayah," or "Pulang kepada ibu." Because "kalau makhluk panggil makhluk, dia hanya akan buat baik di depan mata kita. Tapi di belakang, dia masih jahat. Mesti panggil dia pulang kepada Tuhan."

You must do it for 3 months. If after a few weeks, you don't see any changes, don't be discouraged. Because his spirit is fighting it. Continue to speak to his spirit. After 3 months, it is done.

Amazing!

Second speaker, En. Ahmad Zamri b. Shamsudin. Again, the "Encik" is a cover up. He is also an ustaz.

This one, he only has 3 children. But what he lacks in progeny, he makes up for it in presentation. He came complete with songkok and black coat. The previous one only had a kopiah.

The LCD screen showed:

Pembentangan Kertas Kerja (2)

"Peranan Dan Tanggungjawab Ibubapa Dalam Menangani Isu-isu Disiplin Remaja Masa Kini"

He played arabic tunes every once in a while. He showed an explicit video of how a baby is brought into the world via C-section, with arabic music playing in the background. He quoted and expounded from the Quran.

The only way to curb discipline problems is to bring them back to Allah s.w.t. We, as parents, must bring them back to Allah. We take pains to make sure they score in UPSR, SPM, STPM, STAM. But do we make sure they make it to heaven? "Sayangkah kita kepada Nabi? Sayangkah kita kepada Nabi??"

I felt like I was sitting through a khutbah Jumaat in a mosque.

I walked out of the hall in disgust. Brushed by the Penyelia Petang and the school counselor on the way out. I hope they will ask me why I left the room. Because my lips are not capable of lying.

Both speakers are Muslim clerics. Both have no qualification whatsoever besides religious education. Both have nothing to say about early child care, teen psychology, phases of development and their needs, or anything professional of that sort. Both fail to tell me what I already know.

Yes, I do not deny the importance of religion is shaping a child's character. But what I got from the whole seminar was, Islamization is the answer. Or, if I were to be less blunt, religionize our kids is the answer.

If I had sat through the whole seminar until the Q&A, I would ask a question to both speakers:

"Saya Joshua Hooi, dari SMK Selayang Bharu. Saya setuju bahawa pendidikan agama adalah penting untuk membina insan yang baik...

Soalan saya ialah, terdapat ibu bapa yang sangat kuat beragama, tetapi anak-anak mereka masih jahat. Bahkan, lebih jahat daripada anak-anak yang beribu-bapa secularist. Apakah penjelasan anda?

Adakah pendekatan yang lain untuk menangani masalah disiplin, dari sudut profesional? Sebab saya hairan, mengapa saya tidak terdengar pun tentang apa-apa cadangan lain yang boleh diambil selain daripada pendidikan agama sahaja."

And watch my Pengetua's face twitch in horror. Tengoklah... Cikgu Cina bujang ini yang tiada bini, dan tak takut mati. Please send him to more seminars.

This seminar was organized and sanctioned by Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah Gombak. Every school had to send 4 teachers from the PIBG. Chinese schools and Tamil schools included. Each participant was charged RM100. The hall was arranged to have a seating capacity of 3000.

If I were to write to the press, my article would have this headline:

Embezzlement in Gombak by District Education Department.