I am speed...

Only McQueen knows how to pose like Michael Jordan when leaping over other cars. Only McQueen can think of sticking out his tongue to win a race. Only McQueen has the guts to run the whole race without a tyre change. Only McQueen will think it’s cool to frustrate expert advice, and still be proud of it.

Mei Yee watched Cars before me, and she said it was really nice. She said it’s really worth watching. She said, “You should watch it.” It’s the way she said it. “You should watch it.” Hmmm...

I went and watched it. And I came out not feeling too good about myself. Why? Because I saw myself in it. I saw myself in Lightning McQueen.

Yes, he’s a superb racecar. Arguably the best in the Piston’s Cup. He has his fans. But his fans stick around only as long as he’s still winning.

Sometimes I wonder if the people I know stick around me for what I can do, or do they accept me for me? What if one day, I cannot do the things that I can do anymore… Let’s say I get Alzheimer’s… Will they still stick around? Do they want me for what I know, or for what I am capable of doing? Or do they want me as a friend?

McQueen spent all his life chasing down Dinoco, that big-time sponsor. And he doesn’t give credit the old sponsor who has made him who he is today. And he doesn’t go out of his way to look after, or even look at other “lesser” cars to whom he is actually an inspiration.

I spent a big part of my life chasing down things that I assign value to. I work my life off on personal endeavors that I believe in. I give my time, effort, and energy to causes that I live by. But I haven’t invested much in cultivating good relationships with people, especially those who have helped me to get where I am today. I could’ve given much more to other people, been more of an impact to others, and found more fulfillment in the number of friends I have, or in the number of people who matters to me. O, have I forfeited the lasting value of investing in other people’s lives in exchange for my own Piston Cups?

McQueen has free invitations to his final race for the Piston’s Cup. He can invite his friends to watch him. But he can’t name the friends that he has.

Trust me on this one. A victory that is not celebrated is no victory at all. No matter how big it is. Especially if you can’t find people to celebrate with. I know.

McQueen hates small-towns. He hates the life there, because he thinks he doesn’t belong there. Because he is too good to waste is time in Radiator Springs. He thinks he is too good to mend the roads. Because he is a racecar.

As I’m waiting for my posting, I’m faced with uncertainty over where my future will be. I think I can become easily frustrated, and blame the place for not giving me the chance to exercise my fullest potential. I may forget why I was put there in the first place. I may not see the good that I can do in an old, abandoned place, if only I put a slight change of attitude into it.

McQueen doesn’t like to listen to advice, especially from old-timers. When he hears advice from them, he will make the advice sound really stupid. And he'll try to prove the stupidity of the advice by doing the stupid things himself.

I often find contempt in the advice freely given from other people out of their goodwill. I don’t like to listen to instructions, and humbly follow it, acknowledging that I know less. I scoff at it, making it look really silly. When the really silly one is me.

It was indeed a good movie. But it didn’t make me feel good at all. I felt bad about who I saw in me. Especially the part that likes to be aksi.

Mei Yee said her favorite part was when McQueen lit up the whole place with lights, and made Radiator Springs look lovely.

“Well, it’s good also what, to be aksi... That means you’re keng enough to be aksi. Better than some people. Not keng at all, somemore want to aksi. You’re like McQueen also... Although he is like that, but actually inside… He is good wan.” She said at the end of my confessions.

Cars is replacing The Incredibles as my favorite animation movie.