At The Crossroads Again

4 years ago, I taught at my alma mater, Penang Free School while waiting for entry into USM. Bahasa Melayu, Form 1 and Form 4. They have those BM literature things. Can’t remember what the Form 1 BM literature’s title is. It was about a Malay family (so interesting, rite?) The Form 4 one was more fun. Perlumbaan Kedua. A story about the 2nd race between the tortoise and the hare.

What was I thinking. BM, with literature, of all things! The only thing I know about BM literature is – they are dead boring. Really no class, man. I remember I tried to jazz it up as much as possible, messed it up a bit here and there, and added in C.S. Hooi philosophy whenever I can.

I was 1 Mutiara’s form teacher. I remember Karthigan, who got into a WWF fight right in front of me in the class (I thought it was cool. Anything was more fun than BM literature). I also remember Azhan. He sat at the very front row. He was a bit sensitive to people who perli him.

They made me a gift on my last day. A piece of cardboard paper. It has all their names written on it. It says:

To Mr. Joshua Hooi
Good luck in your future
And have a nice day! J
See you again!
Bye bye
30.4.2002
Thank you,
1 Mutiara

I stuck that cardboard paper inside my clothes cabinet. It’s still there today. Before I left, I told them, “God willing, I will be back in 4 years’ time.”

I dropped by at Penang Free School yesterday. As I was moseying along the corridors, I saw Azhan in the class. He’s in Form 5 now. When he saw me walking past, he recognized me, turned from his seat, and caught my eye. He was smiling.

I met the WWF guy again too. He greeted me and shook my hand.

“Are you coming back here, sir?” Gosh. They actually remembered.

1 year ago, I taught at Methodist Boys’ School for my practical training. Mathematics, Form 1 and Form 2. I remember Aaron. He is one of the good boys. I remember Wee Vern. He was always trying hard to do his math. I remember Jaga Sandes, always pretending to do his work, but his Bollywood skills never worked. Naughty fellow. But he sticks around for my class.

During my last day, Wee Vern came up and read a speech that he wrote for me in front of the class. Excerpts from the speech:

What do you know locus? Inilah soalan pertama yang ditanya oleh watak utama kita pada petang ini. Cikgu datang mengajar kami sudah hampir tiga bulan. Cikgu mengajar kelas dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Perbuatan cikgu yang sering membuat lawak semasa mengajar membuat kami berasa terhibur. Cikgu juga sering kali memberi nasihat supaya kami berjaya pada masa hadapan. Kesabaran selama cikgu mengajar memang tiada bandingannya. Cikgu sanggup berulang banyak-banyak kali jika kami tidak faham.

Then, at the end, got pantun also:

Mentari hilang kala petang,
Muncul semula waktu pagi,
Kalau ada umur yang panjang,
Bolehlah kita berjumpa lagi.

Then, on behalf of the class, he gave me a present. I kept the speech in a box. It’s still there today.

Strange, I thought. You don’t usually get such treatment in all-boys’ schools. Same for Penang Free School. I don’t remember doing things like that for my teachers in my own alma mater. Somehow the culture wasn’t there.

Aaron drops me a line once in a while at MSN. He said, “i think you are the most strategik teacher… you better than my tuition teacher and my school maths teacher” Once, he hooked me up into a 3-way conversation with a friend of his, Jenny, at MSN. He introduced me to Jenny, saying, “This is this is my one of my best maths teacher i have seen be4.”

I dropped by at Methodist Boys’ School today. I saw Jaga Sandes, “fighting” with another Indian guy behind the school block (some things never change). “Oi, balik kelas!” I yelled out at him. He kinda turned away, then he turned back at me when he recognized me. “Hai, sir!” He said. “Mana you punya classmate semua?” I asked him. “Sini, sir…” he said as he walked back to his class.

I paid his class a visit, and got a warm reception. The guys started waving and calling out to me. The monitor, Eric Seaton’s eyebrows seem to look bushier now. Hahahaha... Some of the guys are still the same. Still looking sleepy as ever. But they looked up when they saw me, and found enough strength to give me a wave. Some took a bit of time before they can recognize me. Because I was bald when I was teaching them last year.

I said “bye bye” to them and went out of the class. They gave me a “bye bye, sir” that felt better than any half-hearted “thank you, sir” that you get at the end of every period.

Last year, I taught for a month at my father’s school, Convent Green Lane. Sains, Form 3 and Form 5. I’d better not talk about what happened there. Sounds like scandal only :) Sure kena kacau wan. Hehehehe…

At times, I find myself back at the crossroads again. I ask myself why did I choose to become a teacher in the first place. Wouldn’t I find more satisfaction doing something else rather than teach in a musty, old classroom? What if I had taken up law? Or management? Or business administration?

I tried to look for a job while waiting for my posting. I looked at my own academic qualifications, and I say to myself, “How can I get a job outside with the degree that I have? A Sains Dengan Pendidikan graduate? How desirable am I? Man, I won’t even employ myself!”

Am I the glassy-eyed kind of person who wants to change the world by being a teacher, or do I have my motives all mixed up?

I admit I am not every bit an altruistic teacher, whose sole intention is to touch hearts, change lives, and impact the world. I come into the profession with a strict view of things, and a stern view of myself. I don’t have the glassy-eyed, jaded attitude of the job. I don’t harbor the naive belief with all my heart and soul that being a teacher to young students is the best thing you can do in life.

But despite that, I find that I have left ripples in the places I have gone. I think I have impacted people in ways that I was not even conscious of. How much for the better, or how much for the worse, I don’t know. But I think I’m making a difference. It has been affirmed time and again.

Never mind that I don’t look marketable in the corporate sector. I didn’t really plan to go there anyway. Never mind that I may become grouchy and grumpy as years roll by. I didn’t start with a jaded view of things in the first place, so I don’t think I'll slump into disillusionment too badly. Never mind the grade that my lecturer gave me for my practical training. I don’t fully agree with the way she sees things anyway. I like my own style of doing things.

I think I have the gift.