“…That you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…” (Philippians 2:15).
Is it harmless to cohabitate? I believe not. Cohabitation is proven to be harmful, instead of helpful, for healthy relationships.
But many people contend that it is harmless. But even if it is harmless, it is not blameless. Here's why:
A non-Christian couple happily announces that they are moving in together. They are “taking their relationship to another level.” I’m sure you know well enough what that means, so I’m not going to elaborate.
A Christian couple moves in together. “Oh no, it’s not what you think,” they will try to explain. “We don’t sleep together in the same room.” Or, “We don’t sleep together on the same bed.” Or, “We don’t do anything else when sleep together on the same bed.” See if people bother to listen to lengthy explanations.
It’s not a matter of whether or not the couple is sleeping together in the same room, or on the same bed, or whether or not they are having sex on the bed. The fact that a couple is “staying together” in the same house already means they are living together! Living together is a privilege of a married couple. When two people cohabitate, they are already behaving as a married couple even before they have “become one flesh.” That alone, is improper Christian conduct.
Is living together a need, or a privilege? For a married couple, sharing a life together in the same house is a need, and also a privilege. For an unmarried couple, living together is not a need, and it is far from being a privilege that is permissible to be enjoyed before the Lord.
“But we live so far away from each other. Living together will save costs of travel. We can also spend less on food because we can cook our meals together.”
Is convenience a license for sin? Assuming a couple starts a relationship in his/her twenties. For the past 2 decades of their lives, food and accommodation has not been a problem. How come it becomes a need to live together after they have started a relationship? Living together at this stage is not a need. It is a want. If both could survive fairly well before they were together, how come they can’t live apart from each other now? What has happened to healthy restraint in a respectable relationship? Living together at this point is a luxury that people desire, but it cannot be rightfully enjoyed before marriage.
Couples who still believe that it is alright to live together will be able to come up with all kinds of explanations to justify their conduct. But here’s the rationale: If the act of living together needs so many explanations and justifications, it means that behaviour is highly questionable! Nobody will even raise an eyebrow if that behaviour is fully wholesome, pure, and acceptable by Christian norms in the first place. Nobody raises an eyebrow when a married couple lives together. But when an unmarried couple lives together, eyebrow are raised.
So why stigmatize yourself if you are “presumably innocent?” When another person asks you, “Hey, you both live together izzit?” What will your answer be? Your answer will be a yes. Then you’ll have to try filling in the blanks that follow as fast and as well as you can.
We can see that even if we think cohabitation is harmless, it still doesn’t mean it’s ok to be practiced. Even if cohabitation is harmless, how can such a conduct be blameless? How can the children of God behave this way? Can we say we are truly without fault if we cohabitate? Is this the right thing to do in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom we are supposed to shine as lights in the world?
“But as Christians, as long as our conscience if free from guilt, aren’t we free to do as we wish as long as we do not sin?”
"For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another" (Galatians 5:13).
"But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak" (1 Corinthians 8:9).
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2 comments:
I live in a student accomodation and recently had this issue with a couple who wanted to move in together into the same house, although not in the same rooms.
Out of curiosity, I posed this question to most of my christian friends, and to my surprise, a lot of them thought it was okay... I was very surprised....I still am now.
Many people feel that bcause they are in "different rooms", it is still technically okay to do so.
There is no hard and fast rule that prohibits people from different sexes to live together in the same house.
However, the danger in living together is the temptation that may arise.
Also, it will greatly stumble other people of different faiths. Eyebrows are raised and people start talking when they see unmarried people living together. That itself is already bad enough, even if nothing immoral happens inside the house.
Thus, it will greatly affect a Christian testimony.
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