Change your job, or change your goal

There are three things you cannot change from bottom-up. Corruption, poverty, and education.

I'm getting bored of my job, to the point of giving up. I feel like I don't have a real goal. I'm glancing at my watch once too often, hoping that I can leave the class as soon as possible. I don't feel like staying back one minute longer after school hours. I feel like I'm living an empty, direction-less life.

Gone is naive aspiration, of "giving kids a better shot at life." Here's the reality check. Kids aren't getting any better. And they are never gonna get any better, if they are not allowed to get better. They are not gonna get a better shot at life, if all they have are blanks to shoot from.

The bottom-up approach works in some contexts. But not in schools. You got to grab the bull by its horns, and do it top-down.

There is just so much you can do if you're at the bottom. Whatever you say, or whatever you do, no matter how good it is, will be coming from a nobody. "Home-schooling? What are you talking about? Are you a Datuk? A dean? A pegawai from the Pengarah's office? If you're none of those, then shut up and suck it in."

Hence, I postulate:

• If you want change, you got to be a somebody.
• You want change.
• Therefore, be a somebody. Do what it takes.

From what I observe, it's possible to make it all the way to the top. If you really want to.

First, you'll need a platform. You're going nowhere if you get stuck teaching in a kampung school that nobody hears about. "You got a bright idea? Which school are you from again? Err... that place doesn't sound bright..."

I've got good cables in Penang Free School. As soon as my 4-year tenure is up, I'm going back to my Alma Mater. It's a Cluster School now. (Cluster what? Cluster of under-performing students from a privileged people, that is. Ask the canteen auntie who sells fried bee hoon mee. Her business has dropped so bad, that she has stopped selling after school hours. Why? Because there are too few people who are not from the privileged people who stay back after school.)

Anyway, whatever "cluster" means, cluster's good if you're looking for a platform. If you come out tops there, that will put you on the grid.

Next, you'll wanna get involved with the Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah. Get involved with their meetings, seminars, whatever. Volunteer yourself to do things for them. Get yourself a name among them.

Then, slowly ease yourself in to the Jabatan Pendidikan Negeri. Be a good guy first. Earn their trust, win their favor. Play some politics if you have to, as long as you don't compromise on your convictions. You gotta be wise. Because if you start launching your agenda before you make it to the top, you'll fall flat and your grand plan will go bust.

After that, you wanna do some research. One thing I regret is that I did not put in enough effort to become an academician. How does someone do real, actual research? How does someone publish a paper? Those folios we did for Sejarah and Geografi PMR wasn't too helpful, was it? I guess I'm a victim if a system I grew up in. Even after university level, I know nuts about doing real research. "You only do research if you take Masters? You poor things. My boy already published papers before he graduated. He's not from here, of course..."

Now we also have folios for Pendidikan Moral. I wonder which big guy came up with that idea. I wonder how he made it there too.

Anyway, as I was saying... I'll need to do a research, and get it published. I'll need to learn how to do it. How to go about it. And how come I never learned any of those in my student life.

I'll need friends who can help me with it:

Journalists - I want to be the brain, I need them to do the story.

Media people - I got the idea, I need them to communicate it well.

Statisticians - I want real data, I need surveyors to do the job.

Teachers - I got a new working environment for them, I need to see if they're rolling with it.

Academic consultants - I need to know the existing structures of home-schooling in the West, and how to make it work in Malaysia.

Funding - How do you get research grants anyway? And whom do you get it from? And after the work is done, where do you go to get it published?

I'll keep the friends that I know real close. One day, they'll have important parts to play in the grand plan. Is that grand plan possible? Somehow, something tells me that if you soak in enough nonsense, do it for a time long enough, and not get numb while doing it... You can actually make it. A real difference, that is.

There. Now I feel better about going to school tomorrow.