What They Don't Teach You in Class Control 101

Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell (Proverbs 23:13-14)

How do you maintain class control when you don’t have a cane?

Zero in on the chief of the mischief. Then, either:

A) Pull yourself up to your full height, walk right up to him, stare at him straight in the face until he backs down to submission. You don’t have to say a word.

B) Give him the “look of death” from long distance. Look him straight in the eye and don’t break your gaze until he stops his malfunction.

C) Mutter strong rebuke in a hushed tone until everyone notices that you are mumbling something way below your normal volume. Continue in your best vocabulary until the class falls into a pin-drop silence. Whether or not they understand it is another matter.

D) Tell him to sit somewhere else.

Or, when you are not teaching but you have to be in class (e.g. relief periods and exam invigilation):

E) Tell him to come and sit by your side. Ask him why he is exhibiting paranormal behaviour and listen to him. Then ask him about his background and tell him the facts of life.

Or, if you’re just not in a nurturing, counseling mood:

F) Hit the table once, very hard, with a flat palm and create a thunderbolt sound. Make sure you get it right, because you can do it only once. You don’t have to move from where you are sitting nor say a word.

I’ve been put in the school’s Biro Disiplin. All I do so far is enter Merit-Demerit points into the computer. Will I be ever given a cane?

I dunno. And I don’t think I’d want to carry it around either. I think it’s a sign of insecurity.

By the way, do you know that the Education Ministry outlines very clearly the methodology for caning a student? You have to tuck a book under your caning arm. This is to prevent the teacher from caning too hard.

But you know how we do it here? We leave the book on the table. What you don’t know won’t hurt you :)

I don’t think I am the type who can give a Surat Buang Sekolah. I can do all the other things. But somehow, not expelling them.

These kids, they do not want to go to school. They don't have any interest in it. They don’t even see the point of it. But give them a few more years, and they will see it. By then, they can’t go to school anymore. I feel that expelling them is hastening that process.

Once, two Chinese Form 3 boys were involved in a Malay vs Chinese fight. On of them got hit in the head by a chair. I took them to a government clinic for a check-up and waited with them for more than 2 hours.

2 weeks later, the same boys got involved again in a bigger fight. Believed to be a continuation from the previous episode, this time it involved all races. Until the police came to control the situation.

The Chinese boy’s mother came to school. The Guru Disiplin issued him a Surat Buang Sekolah. The mother felt it was not fair. She thought it was a Malay-bias-Chinese-prejudice thing. She got upset and marched to the Pengetua’s office. She wanted to pull the boy out from school and let him start working.

I was at the Pengetua’s office when the mother arrived. Nobody could converse with her, since she spoke very bad BM. The office people pointed her to me, and she started talking to me. Good thing she could understand Hokkien.

I told her, why not pull him out of this school, and register him into another school? It may not work for him here, but it may work for him elsewhere. I told her life would be hard if he cannot complete his education. He is only 15.

I told the boy, why not go to a new school, start anew, and don’t get into trouble anymore. At least try to finish your secondary education. Give yourself a shot in life.

I don’t know what was the outcome. Probably he has stopped schooling by now. It wouldn’t be strange, because his family didn’t go any further than a Form 3 education as well.

Time and time again, I remind myself that these kids here have problems. No matter how paranormal or dysfunctional their behaviour is. Beneath their angst, restlessness and annoyance, there lies beneath it anguish, frustration and hopelessness. If you look at it seriously, at the rate they are going, they don’t even have a shot in life. Some of them already know it. And they have to live with it.

And we thought we had it bad when we didn’t get the course of our choice.

Happy Teacher’s Day, everyone. No matter how tough the going gets, remember that we are already way better than them, their parents, and their families. Even when you feel like pulling your hair out… Let’s help them get their shot in life.