Research this!

Do research on a topic? Present it in a creative and effective way? Then wait for impact?

This is what I mean, man...

Check this out!



Got wind tunnel test some more! Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahaha!

Plus... Real life application in office!

Professionals discuss about it on national TV! Talk about impact, man...



Don't take your job too seriously, man... It will make you do crazy things. Seriously!

Don't you agree?

I believe every teacher should have a personal assistant.

You know, like... Pay some dude to mark all your exam papers, fill in the scores, do the daily attendance, send out warning letters, collect school fees, manage student data, process outgoing students, etc.

If some cool dudette can do those things for you, even better!

Because hor... you see ah... behind every successful man... there is...

A chun secretary!

Why do you think Tony Stark can build a robot suit like this?


It's because he got this mah...


See?

Anyway...

If someone else can take care of all those other stuff for you, then you can have more time and energy and um... motivation... to do the stuff that got kick wan la!

Like, you can concentrate on preparing your lessons...
Or fine-tuning them...
Or come up with creative and effective ideas to get the content across...
Or figure out how to improve on pedagogy...
Or work together with other colleagues to come up with better ways...

And you won't end up cooking your lessons straight out from the book.

When you can get original with your lessons...
Execute the idea...
Evaluate its effectiveness...
And wait for impact...

That wan, barulah got kick!

Having to go through piles of papers to mark...

No kick.

Tulibu dibu douchoo

Almost finished marking the Math papers for one class.

Just when I thought that Math teachers got it bad...

I remind myself of the English teachers...



I am comforted.

Occupational hazard

Just finished marking the Add Maths papers.

I've repeated myself to my students over and over again. But they still don't get it.

Just when I thought all my efforts to teach the same thing over and over again was to no avail... Here's something I learned.

If you fail, try again.
If you fail again, then try again.
If you think nobody heard you, nevermind. Say it again.
If nobody understands, it's ok. Just say it again.
If nobody is listening, don't be shy. Keep on saying it.
After that, explain it again.
Then, say it again.
Then, do it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.

One day, the world will listen.

The first try:



The interview:



And he made it:



Reynaldo Lapuz. You are my inspiration.

Why I'm considering to become an acrobat

1. Solve the simultaneous equations 2y – x = 1 and xy + x² = 26.

[4 marks]

xy + x² = 26 …………….. 1

2y – x = 1

x = 1 – 2y ……………….. 2

Substitute 2 in 1

Sigh...

Should I even continue...

Don't be a cosmic killjoy

I have to set homework questions for the upcoming school holidays.

Let's see if the faculty has a sense of humour.

* * * * * * * * * *

Complete the following arguments.

9. Premise 1: Every student in SMKSB does not like to do Math during the holidays.

Premise 2: _____________________________________________

Conclusion: I do not like to do Math during the holidays.

10. Premise 1: If my teachers love me, they will give me work to do.

Premise 2: My teachers love me.

Conclusion: ____________________________________________

Make a conclusion by deduction.

11. Every first day of school, many students will be late. Today is the first day of school.

_____________________________________________________

12. I will bring handphone to school if Mr. Jasmin will not take my handphone away. Mr. Jasmin will take my handphone away.

______________________________________________________

No-more-el

Noel is dead.

18th May, Sunday.

Mei Yee left the house at 2 pm. Noel was still in the house. Mei Yee went to the office to edit Scott and Anne's wedding video.

I was traveling back from Malacca at 3 pm. When I was back, I went straight to Mei Yee's office. I reached her office at 6:30 pm. We went out for dinner.

After dinner, we went to Mei Yee's house. It was already late. Noel was nowhere to be found. We both knew she must've ran out. "Not to worry. She will come back tomorrow," I said.

19th May, Monday.

Mei Yee called at 5:30 pm. She asked me to go to her place and look for the cat. I was like, no... It's psycho! Why should I make a 45-minute drive to Section 10, and walk around the neighbourhood to look for Noel? Mei Yee's office is just 5 minutes away from her house.

She said she is working. I said, then stop editing the video a while, and go look for it lah.

She said she has tried this morning. I said, so try again lah.

She said I wasn't doing anything at home anyway. I said, which is more practical... For me to travel 45 minutes there to look for a cat, or for her to do it herself from 5 minutes away?

So, ding-dong-ding-dong back and forth. I was adamant. I'm not going all the way there to look for a cat. I thought it was really impractical. Crazy... The cat is scared of me anyway. If I go around calling her name, she will probably run and hide. I couldn't picture myself driving all the way there, walking around the neighbourhood, calling out Noel's name, feeling like a psycho, failing to find her, and driving back again. Mei Yee has already tried this morning. How lucky can I get if I try?

Well... After a while... I thought I'd go there and do it anyway. After all, it's not the first time I've done unreasonable things. Some things are just not meant to be reasoned. Does it make sense? Doesn't matter. Just do it. Is it practical? Doesn't matter. Just do it anyway. You want to get into complications? No. So, just do it.

But why should I?
No, I shouldn't...
Yes, I should...
No, it's nonsensical!
Yes, it's a good thing to do...
No, how many times must I allow myself to do this?
Yes, you should do it because you should...
No...
Yes...
No...
Yes...
No...
Yes.

The ding-dong-ing within myself ended at a yes.

So, I took a bath...
Muttered why I allow myself to be led to do such foolish things...
Changed my clothes...
Muttered back that usually, those foolish things don't turn out to be silly enough to regret about anyway...
Went to the storeroom to look for a flashlight...
The muttering self-debate went on...

Then the phone rang. Mei Yee said Noel is dead.

Suddenly, I wished I wasn't such a pragmatist.

After I got to Mei Yee's neighbourhood and did further investigations from eye-witness accounts, this is what really happened.

Eyewitness: Neighbour. She saw a small, black and white cat being attacked by two dogs. The neighbour said the cat did not look like a stray cat. The cat looked too clean to not have an owner. The neighbour shoo-ed the dogs away.

The two dogs: Not guilty.

Eyewitness: That same neighbour saw another dog coming for another attack at the cat. It was a fiercer one. That dog took Noel's life.

Time of death: Approximately 5 pm, 18th May, Sunday.

Last seen alive by Mei Yee: Approximately 2 pm, 18th May, Sunday.

Between 2 pm and 5 pm, Noel must have found a way to dash out of the house. Maybe a housemate carelessly left the back door open while doing some cooking. Noel dashed out, climbed to the roof, and hopped down to the back alley.

Noel met two stray dogs. She tried to fend for herself. A neighbour came to her rescue and shoo-ed the two stray dogs away.

The two stray dogs went and reported to their boss. They did not like a small cat to be on their turf. The cat was too small and too cute and too clean to be left alone. Irresistible to the canines, they sent their boss to deal with Noel.

The fierce dog came and attacked Noel. This time, the neighbour failed to intervene. The fierce dog killed Noel.

Noel's body was found by a lamp-post. The neighbour testified that the body looked ok. Noel was not badly mauled. She was probably fatally bitten on her neck.

The neighbour's maid put the body in a black plastic bag. The plastic bag was left at the junction, where the trash will be collected. The trash will be collected tomorrow.

There was nothing Mei Yee could've known about it. There was no way Mei Yee could've done anything about it.

Mei Yee: Not guilty.

There was no way I could've saved the situation from happening. By the time Mei Yee and I discovered Noel was missing, it was already nightfall. Even if I had led Mei Yee to go out to look for Noel that Sunday night after dinner, we would have seen the body by the lamp-post. That's about as far as we could've changed things.

Joshua Hooi: Not guilty.

A sobbing Mei Yee harboured the hope that Noel could've still been alive. Mei Yee did not see the body. Maybe Noel was just injured. Maybe she did not really die. Maybe she was just badly hurt and hiding somewhere. Mei Yee would not gain closure without seeing the body.

Evidence: Located as described by the eye-witness. But the bag was not opened. Mei Yee did not want to see the body.

Do the stray dogs have any prior criminal offence?

Witness: The stray dogs had mauled another neighbour's Siamese cat. The fierce dog had also bitten a kid before.

Verdict: Stray dogs guilty. 2 counts of cat-slaughter, 1 count of man-slaughter.

Sentence: One day, the driver of a red Proton Iswara was driving his car along a back alley in Section 10. It was late. He was feeling tired. He wanted to get home as fast as possible. The road was dark. He thought he saw something ahead. He was fatigued. He was a little slow to hit the brakes. So he didn't. And he thought he heard a thud...

Date of sentence: Not confirmed until further notice.

* * * * * * * * * *

Mei Yee: Will there be cats in heaven?

Joshua Hooi: Well... There will be lots of weird animals with wings and many eyes...

Mei Yee: Dowan... I only want Noel...

* * * * * * * * * *

Mei Yee is busying herself with the wedding video at the moment to keep her mind off things.

I guess that is her way of getting closure.

I guess this way is mine.

I loved Noel too.

*sniffle*

Noel

25th December 2007 - 18th May 2008

Rest in peace, Noel. There will never be another kitten as cute and as notty as you. You will be dearly missed. By both Mei Yee and I.

*sniffle*

It is a sad day...

Have you seen this miaow?

Her name is Noel. She doesn't wear that bell anymore. She has been missing for 24 hours already.


She is a really high-class miaow. She was picked up from the streets. But she will not eat normal cat food. She only wants to eat wet food. Or dried prawns. Or ikan bilis.

She is so lost. She will probably look like this...


She will sit in a "royal position". Maybe under a bush. Or in some enclosed corner.

She may possibly be spotted somewhere in Section 10. If you happen to see her at the park near Amcorp Mall, you can recognize her by the way she walks. Cos, you see, she doesn't "walk" when she is outdoors. She sneaks around. Like, walking really low.

Can you picture a guerilla soldier, crawling on his belly, with a rifle in his hands, trying to avoid being seen by the enemy? That's how she walks. Only difference is, she may be doing it in open space and everyone can see her.

She is not used to being outdoors. If you see her, just tangkap her...


And bring her back.

Her owner will be in great distress... If she got mauled by a bigger cat... Or kena baham by a dog... Or kena belit by an ular sawa... Or kena kidnap by a lyin', thievin' neighbour...

Collection of bizzare sightings

When you come to class... And you see students with this kind of hair style...


You just know you're in for a field day. The more chicken heads per class, the higher the stress per hour.





This was found in the canteen's mee goreng.

My colleague says it's a cockroach. The canteen man says it's a kepala sotong.


What do you say it is?





Believe it or not, SMK Selayang Bharu produces many legends. One of them came back to be a judge for our Teater Komsas.

See if you know who he is...


Mat Rock! It's Mat Rock, from Spanar Jaya!

Spanar spanar jaya... See if the tune rings in your head now.


Mat Rock, getting a cenderahati from the Pengetua. Never knew I could see a local tv actor so up close.





When you think wonders will cease... It doesn't.

I came back to the staffroom after class. Guess what I saw right outside the male staffroom...


An old man in suspended relaxation!

You wanna know what he did before he rested?


So much for saving our trees.

What about sunrise... What about rain... See if Michael Jackson's song is stuck in your head now.

How come dreams come with a wind-chime sound effect?

What do you do when you have to sit like deadwood and invigilate exams?

You dream.

How feasible is home-schooling in Malaysia anyway. If you really think about it. Can it really materialize as a formal alternative?

Private school students pay more than a grand a month on fees. That comes up to approximately 10 grand per year. That can put 225 government school students through an entire year.

International school students are even crazier with school fees. They pay by semester. And they have 3 semesters a year. Their fees make private schools look second class, and government schools like charity homes.

People send their kids to private schools because they believe they should give the best to their children if they can afford it. But for most other people, that is not even an option.

Questions I'd like to find out from students:

1. Why do kids go to school?
2. How many students think they learn more outside the school, in tuition centers, or through self-study at home?
3. How many students believe that going to school is just a necessary evil to sit for a government exam?
4. How many students will stop going to school if they can sit for a government exam without having to register under a school?
5. How many students think they will still come to school anyway because it is a good avenue for socializing?
6. How many students have stopped believing that they can get quality education in school?
   

Questions I'd like to ask teachers:

1. How many teachers have stopped believing they can give quality education in school?
2. How many teachers feel that their potential is restricted circumstantially in government schools?
3. How many teachers will be willing to jump ship and work in a home-schooling environment, and be paid according to the same salary scheme?

Questions I'd like to ask the policy-makers:

Will home-schooling be seen as a complement or a threat to the Pelan Induk Pembangunan Pendidikan (PIPP)? Consider these:

1. The second teras in PIPP is membangunkan modal insan. What if home-schooling can do that better?
2. The third teras: Memperkasakan sekolah kebangsaan. Can home-schooling be seen as an option in the national schooling system, not as its competitor?
3. The fourth teras: Merapatkan jurang pendidikan. What if home-schooling can help masalah keciciran, in the sense that students may not want to go to school, but they may want to be home-schooled if it fits their needs better?
4. The fifth teras: Memartabatkan profesion keguruan. What if home-schooling teachers be recognized as a separate class of their own? It may serve to be a discriminant, but it can also be seen as a motivation.
5. The sixth teras: Melonjakkan kecemerlangan institusi pendidikan. What if home-schooling boosts the image of government education system for providing a pragmatic and effective alternative in bringing education to the masses?

(You may wonder why I conveniently left out the first teras. It's because I think we don't have to fool ourselves and pretend to kick against the goads. Membina negara bangsa.)

Questions I'd like to ask the Education Department:

1. Will it be a feasible idea to have home-schooling in Malaysia, run by a semi-government body?
2. Will it be reasonable to pour in more funding into this concept to equip the infrastructure and staff in support of this idea?
3. If funding is a problem, what if home-schoolers don't mind paying a little more in school fees, somewhere in the middle between government school fees and private school fees?
4. How trustworthy will a "special commission" be to select specialist teachers to join the home-schooling bandwagon?
5. Can I trust that this idea will not be hijacked by nationalist zealots and be used to champion race-based agendas?

Questions I'd like to ask those who can make it happen:

1. If I can prove that home-schooling can improve academic potential, help tackle the problem of truancy, drug abuse and gangsterism, will you back me up on it?
2. If I can prove to you that we have a sizeable amount of students who want to be the pioneer batch, will you allow them to be it?
3. If I can prove that a respectable amount of teachers share this same mind, will they be allowed to jump ship and still serve the government in home-schools?
4. Do I have to be a Masters degree holder or PhD holder before I can be taken seriously?
5. Do I have to link up with an English-speaking Malay educator/administrator to boost the credibility of this idea?
6. If I don't mind the project/concept/idea to be named after some Datuk or ancient Malay warrior, will you cherish the task of naming it?

Questions I'd like to ask myself:

1. Am I dreaming?