What do you do...

...when your girlfriend hilang until election day?

You cook.

Warning... Super boring post ahead...

Do you know what is the cheapest, 1L milk in the market? Marigold UHT milk. It's a record. Only RM3.19!

Do you know that for RM3.99, you can make an asparagus dish for three times? How much is one asparagus dish outside? And how many strands of asparagus do you get in it?

Do you know that Al-Fatimah cili giling (the type of chilli paste you buy in a small plastic container) is not spicy? It just looks red.

Do you know that the red jambu (the type that you buy along the highway's resthouses, where all the auntie suddenly come out and say "leng chai leng chai") costs only RM3.98 for 6 of them? And to think you pay RM2 at those resthouses for only, I think... 1.5 of them?

Do you know that any cooked chicken (the type that they display on the counter, half bird or whole bird) in Giant is dead chicken? I mean... It's like corpse meat. You put it in the fridge, after a few days, you can smell dead chicken.

Do you know that Jasmine rice is the best rice to buy? It's the second cheapest one. Don't buy the cheapest one. That one, it will take you longer to wash the rice. You must do at least 5 washes to get rid of the murkiness. Jasmine, good. Jalaludin Hassan say wan. Must be good la.

Do you know that a Jusco card must be renewed every year at RM12? It's actually worth it. Because you get 5% discounts on J-card days, and you get free parking.

Do you know why women (generally, not all of them) are good at multi-tasking? Because you must be good at multi-tasking in the kitchen. Or else, it will take you a short eternity to prepare a meal.

You must plan ahead. What do you need? Make sure everything you need is chopped, sliced, diced, and put near the stove before you start. Make sure all your equipment are in order too. You don't want to go scrambling for your kicap or your corn starch when your food is over the fire.

You must think strategically. If you do all the fast things first, then you must wait like a dongkoi for the slow things to cook. Then your fast things will turn cold.

If you do all the slow things first, then you don't have to wait for your fast things to cook. You save time, and you get to enjoy a warm meal.

Do the rice first (it takes the longest to cook). Then, heat up whatever meat you want to heat up in the microwave (you can leave whatever's inside in the microwave. It won't get cold). After that, you do the vegetables. Then, you boil the soup. While you're waiting for the soup, cut the fruits.

If you got it timed just right, you will hear the microwave "ting" first, then the rice cooker "click", then the soup sizzling last. Turn off the gas, scoop out the rice, then take out the meat from the microwave. Perfection! Timing is everything.

On a good day, it takes no longer than 15 minutes flat.

If the election campaigning period takes 30 days, imagine what a "see lai" I will become.