Rambo-ngitis

Nor was there anyone who among them who lacked; for all who were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the proceeds of the things that were sold, and laid them at the apostles' feet; and they distributed to each one as anyone had need. (Acts 4:34-35)

I attended a church Bible Study today. About church fellowship. James Khoo deliberated that the practice above should be seen in its context. The early church, when it first started to bloom, was under great persecution. Therefore, it was a prudent thing to do - to sell all your belongings and share it with the church, before you die prematurely for your faith and the government seizes your property.

However, I read in Richard Lamb's book, Following Jesus In The Real World, that such communities can actually exist. Some people make the choice to move to a vicinity together, serve the community through the same church, live in the same house, and share everything with everyone in the house, as though no one really owns anything. They literally pool their resources together. Instead of loss, they actually have much more in excess to give to others, than if they have lived separately.

Imagine you put everything you earn into a common fund in the house. Anyone can use it for whatever they need. If you have put in more but have used up less for yourself, then you are a blessing. If you have put in less but have used up more, then you are experiencing God's providence in how community is supposed to be.

Radical hor? Imagine the kind of trust and accountability that must exist within that kind of community. One guy's need can be easily seen as another guy's luxury. How are they going to iron out the tensions that may arise when one is seen cooking every meal to save costs, but another guy is ordering Pizza Hut for late night snacks? One takes the bus to work, while the other is thinking about buying a Merida 904 bicycle?

Coming to think of it, I haven't experienced that kind of community. I've always lived alone. Or don't like living with them.

First year in USM. I stayed at Gemilang. Kelantanese room mates. They are often found sleeping on my bed, putting their feet where I put my head. When I shift position so my face would not be sniffing at where their feet were last night, they also do the same the next time they use my bed. It's baffling. They eat in the room, and they don't take the trash out. And the stench of their clothes! I often wake up with a sore throat from the air that went through my respiratory system the entire night. I seldom sleep there, unless I was too dead tired to drive home.

Second year, Cahaya Permai. Malay room mate from Penang. That guy's nice. Good hygiene, well-mannered. I didn't get to spend much time with him though. I was always out early, and back real late. Most of the time, he wasn't around too. Being a Penangite, I'm sure he always went home. I had the room to myself most of the time.

Second year, second semester. I shifted to Tekun. I had a Sarawakian room mate. He stayed around for a week. Then he shifted out. I wondered if I was that bad...

Third year. Tekun. I saw my Chinese room mate once. The very next day, he was gone. Hmmm... Am I really that bad?

Fourth year. Tekun again. Yuen Thern was my room mate. I guess he was the best one I had compared to all of the previous ones. He actually stayed on for a whole year! He's strong :)

The thing is, I think I'm a loner most of the time. I like to eat alone. I like to go places alone. I like to watch movies alone. If given a choice, I'd rather live alone.

I hear stories about how some people live in the same neighbourhood, grow up together, do a lot of fun stuff together, and still remain as good friends in adulthood. They are always seen as a group. It must be quite cool, to be always associated with a group. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you're always in a group. It almost feels like a gang. I always wondered how would it be like to belong to a gang...

How do I train? I have always trained alone. I don't really have any training buddies. I kinda excelled better that way, going solo.

However, in triathlon, I somehow have a feeling that I can't do it alone. I'll need a partner, or a group, to stay motivated. To learn from each other. To check with one another if we're training correctly. To keep in tune with what's going on in the triathlon world. To hang out together after each long bike ride, looking cool in our gear, and chill.

I kinda found this group called "Empowered By Jesus". Sort of like a Christian triathlon group. I was hoping that one day, I can hook up with them, go on bike rides together, and train together. But somehow, I have a feeling it won't happen. They are already a clique by themselves, and I don't think I'm "in".

Well, alternatively, I can join other "godless" cycling groups. From what I hear, they are mostly married men. They will go on bike rides on Sunday mornings, and talk dirty afterwards. I'm so gonna look "uncool". I don't want that either.

Guess I'm gonna have to do it old-school anyway. Train solo.

I think I have a disease. It's called Rambo-ngitis.


My friend.