Christ is winsome...

...but my church is not.

I find it hard to reconcile the fact that Christ is winsome to many a sinner, but my church is not winsome to believers.

How come people don't step into my church and leave saying, "Wow! I'll be coming back for more!" But I hear all kinds of fantastic comments about how wonderful church services are elsewhere.

Maybe it's the sign of the times. People are generally not interested in church anymore. That's what I commonly hear.

But maybe we don't have to blame the world. We can just look at ourselves. A drop in interest in church is not wholly because the world is getting increasingly evil. It is not the world. It is the church. My church. It is just plainly not winsome. If its own members drag their feet to come, what more believers from other churches.

I don't hear the young being enthusiastic about church. And I don't see the old getting any younger.

I don't hear people changing membership to come to a Brethren church. But I hear people from the Brethren church leaving for other churches. And they say they have grown much better elsewhere.

I don't hear people saying that my church has something to offer that other churches have not. But I hear people saying how much other churches have done wonders to their lives. I hear people saying "My wife has grown out from the Brethren church."

I don't hear people praising my church for the good work it has been doing for the community. But I hear people comparing my church to a house with an uptight landlady who keeps you stifled in a musty room.

I don't hear my church producing missionaries who are confident enough to step out in faith, because the church stands right behind them. But I hear other churches sending out missionaries like Indonesia sending out Indonesian maids.

I hear people suggesting that I should leave my church. Because I can grow much better elsewhere. Because I have proven myself inter-denominationally before. Because I should not think I am undispensible. Because I should not be resting proudly on my reputation in my own church. Because I should not stop God from leading me to where He wants me to go. Because I should step out in faith. Because God can use me anywhere. Because I should not rely only on what I know and am comfortable of. Because I should learn to let go, before God can use me for greater things.

To all that, I have this to say:

I am selfish.

You see, I am thinking of my own position in eternity. I am on a get-rich-quick scheme. Not on earth, but in heaven. I've given up wanting to get rich here on earth. I'm banking all my chips in heaven. Permit me to be selfish enough to get myself to the other world.

My church, although stuffy, musty and stifling to some, is to me a place rich with opportunities to serve the Living God. Richer than anywhere else I know. If I were to throw it all away and go elsewhere, seeking "greener churches", I will make myself to be a fool. What greater honour is there, than to serve an Almighty God right where I am? What greater treasure is there, than the rewards of serving Him?

My church is so lousy? That is exactly why I am here. My church is not winsome? That is exactly why I am sticking around.

I have more than enough opportunities to serve right where I am. I have lots of things to do for my church, lots of responsibilities to carry, lots of plans, and lots of dreams for it.

I fail to see any reason why I should leave my church and start elsewhere from zero. Because there is no time left to start from zero. I wanna be on a fast track to heaven. I don't want to be distracted or delayed by the transitions of moving.

So brethren... If you hear me talking negatively about my church, it is because I am expressing what I long for the church to become - not what it currently is, but to be to all that it can be, and to be much better than it already is.

I know why I am where I am, and I know what God has called me to.

Brothers and sisters from other churches... If you give me even a slightest hint that I should leave my church... I scramble my mind to find the most fitting words to say... The best I can come up with is this:

"Get behind me, Satan."